Five Ways to Beat the Fall Funk

Have you found yourself in a funk lately? And I’m not talking about the kind where you go to party and bop your head around. If you’re like me and several others I’ve seen walking around campus with a similar blank and forlorn look in their eyes, you’re in a state of numbness and listlessness where you just couldn’t give a s*** about anything. It may be the changing light or the daily grind of classes, but either way, everything should go away and you should go back to sleep. Life is better there. You’re imagining the professor for your Monday morning class turning into a giant marshmallow and Monday afternoon lectures are dedicated to napping. Forget about homework, it’s time to watch two seasons of New Girl in one night. Weekends bring no joy since they’re dedicated to working and sleeping off your hangover. When you’re alone you’re lonely and when you’re with people you’re annoyed. Looks like you have a classic case of the funk, my friend.

It’s time to take action. Combatting the funk starts now. Below I have outlined some treatments for beating that funk back before it gets out of control and you find yourself in hibernation until next spring (but wait, that’s kind of a good idea…).

1. Schedule things to look forward to: It seems like every week is the same and weekends hold no promises. So schedule a camping trip, or buy tickets to a concert, or whatever, just get the hell out of your house. There are numerous options in Madison in particular. Check out the schedule at the Majestic, the Barrymore or the Orpheum Theatres for line-ups of some sweet shows all-year-round. For outdoor pursuits there’s always Devil’s Lake which will offer beautiful fall-leaves viewing opportunities and the Arboretum for shorter ventures.

2. Find a new hobby: and no, this doesn’t mean picking a new show on Netflix. There are a number of things to do at the Nat or the Serf that could keep you interested in life like spinning classes, yoga, strength-building classes, and heck, even just ping pong at the Shell could do the trick. We’re also lucky to have a sweet indoor rock-climbing gym at Union South that’s worth checking out for a particularly crappy day. Find some new books, or reread your favorites. Maybe now’s a good time to take up knitting. It’s about to be sweater-weather, right? I guess, for me, knitting would indeed be hitting rock bottom.

Classes at the Serf

3. Find some good tunes: Nothing beats a pissy mood like listening to music made by other people who are in a similarly pissy mood. This too, can be a little difficult, since listening to songs that match the tune of my melancholy makes me feel more melancholy while listening to cheery music makes me want to hurl my iPod off the balcony of a high-rise. I’ve found a few playlists that seem to find a neutral territory that ease the funk slightly without wanting you to smash your head into the wall. Look here on 8tracks.

4. Just accept it: Fall’s here. And while other talk about “snuggle weather” and “crisp air” and the smell of “apples and leaves and soft things,” I say f*** off; I have nobody with whom to snuggle, I hate being chilled and I can eat apples in the summer too, you moron. However, I’ve come to learn that there’s no stopping it, and summer will come again. So I’m doing my best this year to be happy with the changing season. I’m trying to appreciate the changing of the leaves without throwing myself into a panic and picking them off until only the green ones remain and embracing the chill night air without shutting all the windows and turning the heat on high to mimic the summer warmth.

Apparently fall can be kind of pretty

5. If all else fails, just think about next summer: Create a little light on the horizon and start looking up things to do next summer. Find a sweet place to visit and search for sweet outdoor summer jobs. Close your eyes and picture the sunshine and carefree days. Imagine the days when you didn’t have to sit in stale classrooms with burnt-out professors and you didn’t have to wear socks. Imagine those days where an icy glass of lemonade was literally the best thing and laying outside on a towel with minimal clothing was acceptable.

Actually, ignore everything I just said. I’m over it, fall sucks. Take me back to summer.