Real Girl Problems

Here’s my problem: guys don’t respect themselves enough. At college, I know a ton of cool dudes who deserve to date equally awesome women, but they either end up with girls who don’t treat them well, or they don’t end up with anyone at all.

Some people complain about this, calling it the “nice guy” syndrome. Though the thing is, you can still be a really nice guy and do well in the dating world (contrary to the idea that you have to be a “bad boy” to get girls). Let me explain how the whole respect thing ties in with this.

Dating world: Lots of darkness, sprinkled with some cases of fireworks. {Image by familymwr on flickr.com}

Basically, if you respect yourself, that means a lot of different things. Here, however, I believe it means that you aren’t afraid to be yourself, and even if other people don’t like you, you don’t particularly care. When hanging out with all dudes, most guys are totally fine, and they just act however they want to. As soon as a girl shows up, however, they start acting like they have to impress her or something.

The point is: you don’t have to. Trying to impress girls either leads to A. You looking like an idiot or B. The girl thinking you’re a try-hard (is that a real term?) I’ve seen a lot of attractive dudes go out of their way to try to make women happy, and they just end up messing up whatever spark there might have been.

You’re not going to be able to “do something magical” and then have the girl suddenly fall for you. Think of it this way: if a chick can hold a headstand for a full minute, does that make you want to do her any more? No? Then why would your shows of skill or daring be any different? Girls may rate a guy’s attractiveness based on more than physical appearance, but that doesn’t change the fact that they go for someone because of who they are rather than anything the person does. Another example: the girl asks you to bring over homework late at night. She lives on the other end of campus, but you do it anyway, because you think she’ll really appreciate it, and maybe start (*giggle*) liking you. This  heroic deed changes nothing, it just shows her that you go way out of your way to do nice things for other people. She may think you’re nicer, but being nice is just icing on the cake when she finds someone attractive.

Wizard is sad because "doing something magical" doesn't work. {Image by Memekiller on flickr.com}

In the end, just respect yourself enough to be yourself. That’s all you need.