Why we should all stop talking about how many guys TSwift has dated

Since Taylor Swift’s rapid ascent to fame at age 18, her love life has often been the center of attention in the media. She brings it upon herself, many argue – if she didn’t want people to talk about it, she wouldn’t write emotional songs about her relationships (or lack thereof).

Makes sense, right?

Wrong.

For starters, how about all the girls reading this just admit to themselves that there’s a little bit of jealousy underlying their preoccupation with her current beau. She’s dated some of the most eligible (and most attractive) teen bachelors, and I, for one, know I stewed with envy during her fling with Harry Styles. That’s understandable. We all wish we could be famous and date hot guys, right? Especially perfect, tousle-haired, tattooed members of One Direction!

So – if we can admit that we’re all jealous and wish we had her life – why the constant criticism?

A constant critique is that she’s dated too many guys. That her relationships don’t last long and that she’s “on to the next” before you could even get used to the idea of her dating the first person.

Okay, let’s go with this idea. She dates this person in the spotlight, publicly, for three, maybe four months, right? Pretty short, yeah.

But how long does she talk to them before they make it public? Don’t you think she’s at least smart enough to recognize that she should be somewhat confident in the relationship before going on paparazzi-filled outings to the zoo or a restaurant?

Add on two or three months to that total. That brings her hypothetical average up to around six months. That’s not too shabby for a teenager or young adult just trying to figure themselves out and what they want. When’s the last six-month relationship you had?

Next criticism: the “too many guys” mantra – my personal favorite.

If you’ve ever had a conversation with a feminist, you’ve probably heard of “slut-shaming,” and for those of you who haven’t: a) you should befriend a feminist because they’re right and you’re wrong, and b) slut-shaming is when people look down on a female based on her number of sexual partners. It’s entirely sexist, as men are often praised for their sexual conquests while women face judgment, scorn, and disapproval.

To me – maybe not to everyone else, but to me – there always seems to be a bit of an element of slut-shaming in the discussion of the number of partners Taylor has – sexual or not. So, the girl likes to date guys. So what? Maybe she likes the feeling of having someone there for her. Maybe she is looking for “the one.” Maybe she just likes having sex. So what? That’s not your business. Besides, a guy dating the number of attractive celebrities she had would be praised as a god.

A certain famous Twitter and Tumblr personality recently tweeted a picture of a shirt emblazoned with the names of men Taylor has been attached to romantically in recent years, with the message that he would be wearing it to her next concert. Why? What message are you trying to send?

That the constant pursuit of love and happiness isn’t okay for women? That young fans of hers should respect her less because of her romantic life – when she’s a singer/songwriter, not a reality star or socialite?

Judging a woman based on the number of romantic connections or sexual partners they’ve had is sexist and shameful.

My last point: she makes damn good music and that’s her job.

She sells record numbers of albums, has sold-out tours, wins awards like it’s easy, and projects her image as professional, humble, and classy at all times.

If the biggest criticism you have is that she dates too many guys, and you tout that opinion like it’s fact, or like it makes you better than her, then shame on you. We all need to grow up, learn from her level of classiness, and move on – maybe we should all just get out of the house and date once in a while!