"But You're an English Major": Five Frustrating Assumptions Revealed

“You’re an English major? I bet you’re great at Scrabble.”

“You can’t spell (insert long complex word here)? But you’re an English major!”

“Oh, you’re majoring in English? Recite some Shakespeare for me!”

Many people tend to make assumptions when I mention that my major is English, and these assumptions have bothered me for some time. Here are the five major assumptions people make.

People assume that…

1. I know all of the famous authors and novels.

I was once with a friend at Kafe Kerouac, where the coffee drinks are named after famous authors. When I asked who one of the authors was, my friend was shocked that I did not know since I am an English major. Do you assume this about all English majors? Well, stop it. Yes, a lot of English majors know about all of the major authors and their works, but there exists those of us that do not. Am I ashamed? Absolutely not. Most of the classes I took were about Shakespeare or foreign modern authors, not about Jane Austen or Leo Tolstoy. This brings me to the next assumption.

2. All of the classes I take involve reading famous works and writing about them.

The major in English, at least at Ohio State, is pretty open in terms of what courses you can choose for credit. For example, I have taken courses in digital media and stand-up comedy and currently have an internship editing resumes. These diverse classes all count for English credit. While these courses are certainly not teaching me about famous authors, they provide me with other skills and interests. Taking these classes also explains why I have never read Jane Eyre. 

3. I excel in games like Scrabble, Upwords, Scattergories and Bananagrams.

Before I play any of these word games, people usually say they will lose to me because I am an English major. While playing these games, people usually say they are surprised I could not come up with better answers as an English major. After I play these games, people usually say they are shocked that they defeated an English major. My thoughts? Do people believe that as an English major I sit around thinking of answers for Scattergories? Do they really think Shakespeare will help me win these games? Speaking of Shakespeare, it is often assumed that…

4. I can recite Shakespeare.

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny they father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”

I looked this up on the internet.

I love the Bard, but I do not spend my hours poring over his plays and sonnets. No, I do not know every single play written by Shakespeare or remember the name of every character  in the plays I do read.

5. My name is Webster and I created the dictionary. 

“How do you spell …?” People tend to equate me with a dictionary. No, I do not know how to spell every word ever created and yes, I do use a dictionary when writing.

I did, however, almost win my sixth grade spelling bee. And by almost win, I mean I lost.

Why do these little assumptions bug me? Perhaps because I did not become an English major to memorize every author and novel known to man; I became an English major to improve my writing. There was a time that I thought about teaching English, but now that the interest has passed, the English major has become about improving writing and analytical skills. Perhaps if I was in the major for different reasons I would understand these assumptions, but as it is, please …

Thank you.