Eleven Vows: A New Look At Body Image
I am 5’1’’, 150 pounds and every day, I am asked something along the lines of: “Don’t you want to lose weight? You don’t want to change the way you look?”
Yes, I am confident in the way I look, and yes, I realize how pretentious that sounds. People ask me how I can eat whatever I want and not feel guilty. Ok, people, here’s the trick: The 11 Vows. Its the commandments of self love, the ‘Modeh Ani’ of body image, the prayer of self confidence.
“I vow to look at myself in the morning and say ‘You’re Beautiful.’”
I know, I know, but give it a chance. Psychology has proven that affirmation is one of the strongest methods of self-healing. At first, this will feel forced, but after about a week, who knows? You may even start to believe it.
“I vow to ignore the negative voices in my head that tell me otherwise.”
We all have them. Call it what you will: the devil and angel, your mother’s voice, conscience, the inner critic. What’s in a name? That which we call a conscience by any other name would speak as cruelly. The goal is to respond rationally to that inner critic. Critic says “I need to lose twenty pounds. Everyone else is thinner/leaner/insertadjectivehere.” You say “So, am I doing this because its healthy? No? Ok, I’m going to do take the healthy route.”
“I vow to love and respect the body that I have.”
This doesn’t mean build an altar and worship yourself like a god. This means that the body is a miracle. Pounds of water combined with tendon and muscle, veins, and a heartbeat working in a singular pattern to keep you alive and breathing. Ain’t life grand? Give your body what it needs, stop giving it what it doesn’t like. Ramen might be the broke college student’s go-to, but contrary to popular belief, just because its a ‘preservative’ doesn’t mean it ‘preserves’ you.
“I vow to never let comments from other people affect the way I feel about myself.”
There will always be that person, be it a friend, father, or grandmother who will play the “Oh, you look like you’ve gained weight, have you been working out?” card. Ignore them. If you feel good and if you feel healthy, that’s what counts.
“I vow to remember that there is not a person in the world without insecurities.”
We’ve all got them. Your brother, your sister, your teacher, the guy who delivers the mail and the woman down the street with the adorable puppy. Some of us have physical insecurities, some of our issues are more internal. Here’s my promise to you: whatever your insecurities may be, you’re not the only one. There are others like you.
“I vow to remember that the sun will rise again, whether I have that extra piece of pizza or not.”
Why do we always want to hate ourselves for the extra piece? Or the extra brownie? Self-indulgence isn’t always a bad thing. OVER-indulgence is the problem. The extra carbs are fine; no one’s ever died because they had an extra bit of pizza. Let yourself go. Sometimes, its good to indulge.
“I vow to remember that no one has the “perfect” bodies I see in magazines.”
I could go on for days about how the images in magazines make me angry, but I’ll just say this: the editors know that the majority of them are fake. The models in those pictures know the images aren’t real. We know they’re not real. So….why are we still trying to emulate what we know isn’t real? There’s a logic problem for ya. If anyone comes up with a rational answer to that one, let me know.
“I vow to remember that curves are healthy.”
You don’t have to be a stick. You don’t have to be a circle, you don’t have to be a square. You’re fine. You don’t need to change. You don’t need to be anything but who you are. I know how repetitive this sounds, and I know that coming from a stranger, it doesn’t mean a whole lot. Trust me on this one; you’re fine.
“I vow to stop joining in with my friends when they start trashing their bodies.”
Aah, the infamous ‘fat talk.’ We’ve all heard it. “Ugh, I feel fat today. Why is my skin so wierd? I need to lose so much weight’ and all that jazz. If you hear people using the ‘f’ word, call them on it. Tell them that they really are beautiful (see bottom). You don’t have to join in on trash talk to feel included. If you’re among friends, encourage them to stop. You’re all there to help each other. That’s what friendship is.
“I vow to know that I am beautiful the way I am.”
Stop trying to change. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re worthy of your own love. If a friend talked to you the way you talked to yourself, would you still be your friend? You deserve more than trash talk and self hate. You’re wonderful, so let yourself shine.
“I vow to let others know the same.”
Help a sister out! Help a brother out! We’re all fighting the monsters of insecurity, and we can win this war. Don’t let your friend use the ‘f’ word. When you slip into negative self talk, call yourself on it. We’ve all got each others backs, so lets show it.
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