Keep Your Eyes on the Road: College Campus Streets

We all know the rules of the road our parents taught us when we had our learning permits. We know what to expect on the roads of suburbia with soccer moms in their mini-vans. We may think we know the rules of the road, but when we find ourselves behind the wheel on a college campus, throw the rulebook out the window.

Navigating the roads of a college campus is not for the faint of the heart. It will leave you in a constant cold sweat. It will fray your nerves on so many different levels. Going for a drive on a college campus is going to do everything but clear your head.

With a vehicle off-campus, life is a constant search for the perfect parallel parking spot. This is a complete oxymoron. There is nothing perfect about a parallel parking spot. It’s simply a recipe for disaster. Your side view mirrors are in a constant state of vulnerability, along with your front and back bumper. You may be an expert parallel parker, but get a Joe Schmo who can’t parallel park and you may find your car getting a few love taps.

Then there is the mind-boggling experience of your car being towed. Thankfully I have never personally experienced the unbelievable anxiety of finding my car gone, but I see the tow trucks actively lurking and leeching everywhere around campus. I just don’t know how those tow truck guys and girls sleep at night. Talk about a thankless job — no one likes the tow truck guys and girls.

Then there are the parking meter lurkers. I have developed a personal grudge with these guys recently. I admit I was five minutes late, but seriously seeing the guy smoking a cigarette and casually placing the ticket on my windshield as I was crossing the street really gave my Friday a bad start. With one more nickel, I could have saved myself from losing half of my first paycheck. No one likes these guys, especially me at this moment.

With pedestrians, drivers, and bikers roaming the streets of college campuses, there is often too much to see. You become a different driver as you become a seasoned navigator of college roads. By graduation day, you may be given a diploma for your major, but you also should be given a certificate for stunt driving.