Home is Wherever I Avoid You

“Don’t make eye contact,” your brain whispers when your chemistry partner from 11th grade walks into the restaurant you’re revisitng for old time’s sake during your weekend at home. We’ve all done it. Whether it’s a long break or just a weekend trip home, we don’t know how to interact with people we haven’t seen since high school graduation. For me, the problem isn’t usually that I see people I’ve made into enemies (although this has occurred), but rather it’s the issue of not knowing what to say besides the awkward “hello, how are you?” that leads to a dead end conversation. To simplify the situation, I’ve compiled a list of people to avoid at all costs to lower your total awkward encounters.

1. Friends you had the infamous “senior year falling-out” with. The defining fight of too many a friendship occurs at the end of senior year, when the time to split is easiest because of differing after-graduation plans. When this person shows up in town (of course his/her spring break would be the same week as yours), make the sideways-glance-turned-angry-glare if you must and move on without a word.

2. Teachers you didn’t like. They’ll ask you where you’re going to school now and give you the “I told you to pick a small, private college” face, judge you if your major isn’t near the subject they teach, and remind you of that one time they caught you doing something stupid in their class. Avoid them the same way you did in the high school hallway the year after you were in their class.

3. Your best friend’s ex. They don’t care about you, they just want to know what their former sweetheart (who just won’t return their calls) is up to. Creepy.

4. The person you turned down. They had a crush on you for years and you never returned their feelings. Trust me, time doesn’t make that less awkward.