Since When Can't Girls Be Girls?

Over the years, I’ve both given and received my share of relationship advice. And lately, I’ve noticed an increasing trend of problems stemming from girls trying not to be so girly. We want to play it cool, be chill, and keep it casual. And we do this because doing otherwise would make us such girls. I’m not saying girls aren’t capable of having a casual relationship. It just seems that we are incapable of saying when we want more for fear of sounding like a chick. Instead, we convince ourselves that by being the one who is laid back enough to keep things simple, our guy will suddenly think to himself “Gosh, this girl is so cool. She’s not at all like other girls, asking me for a more committed relationship. In fact, I’m going to assume that she wants more than what she told me she wanted and ask her to be my girlfriend tomorrow.” We not only think men are mind readers, but we also think that they’re lying to us when they say, “So I am really just looking for something casual.” Admittedly, this aversion to being a girl isn’t entirely our fault.

Being called a “girl” tends to be an insult before it’s a compliment. “You throw like a girl.”  “Are you going to cry like a little girl?” “Just take the shot, stop being such a girl!” Based on the pre-existing evidence, no one would want to be the girl. Apparently, we can’t throw, we cry a lot, and we don’t live by the “yolo” mantra. These are obviously outrageous stereotypes, and even knowing this, we avoid “being the girl” at every turn when trying to start a relationship. We instead think he would be more likely to date us if we acted like one of the guys. But why is being a girl such a bad thing? Why does saying we want a relationship with a guy when he tells us he wants something casual mean we are taking ourselves too seriously? Why can’t the girl be the girl? Girls, I think we need to get some balls.

The fact is, in every successful relationship, somebody (preferably both parties) has to be willing to stand up, face, and answer the dreaded question: “So what are we doing here?” This job, in the average homogenous relationship, generally falls on the girl. But now that being too girly has become an unfavorable quality in both men and women (even in the eyes of females themselves), who is doing the job? Who is encouraging communication? And haven’t we already proven through years of experimenting with passive aggressive hints that direct communication is, shockingly, the best way to communicate? Whether you are a guy or a girl who is afraid of sounding “too girly,” it’s time to take a stand. Throw cryptic code to the curb, and be straightforward with your needs, no matter how much it makes you look like a chick. So, male or female, stop being a pussy, and be the girl!