A lesson in love (intended for children, perfect for adults)

This Sunday, I learned something new about love and Valentine’s Day.

I don’t normally go to church and so when I do, I’m usually lured in by the promise of celebrating a Swedish holiday that I haven’t celebrated since I was a child or getting to eat some of my favourite goodies. My church, the Swedish Church in Paris (since I am currently studying abroad), is rather small. Normally the majority of the congregation are sweet, little old ladies who moved to Paris 30 years ago to marry a French man. This Sunday, I was surprised to find the congregation filled with children. I ended up going to church under the lure of semlor, a Swedish pastry filled with marzipan and cream, which Swedes start eating on Fettisdagen (Shroud Tuesday/Pancake Day/Mardi Gras or whatever you want to call it) and stop eating at Easter. I know, it doesn’t really make sense. I guess we haven’t really caught onto to the concept of Lent quite yet. The number of families surprised me. Were they there to eat semlor just like me? No, in fact, it was a special service dedicated to being more child-friendly.

When my priest touched upon the subject of Valentine’s Day, All Hjartan’s Dag (All Hearts Day) in Swedish, I was a bit surprised. I didn’t expect a priest to talk about such a commercialized holiday. Especially, as she said herself, love can be both the best and worst things ever. As she passed around the heart necklace to the children, she started talking to them about love; but not romantic love or a physical love. She talked about love for other human beings. The love between a mother and child. The love for your friends. The love of just being alive. The love that we forget normally during Valentine’s Day. We’re distracted from this kind of love because we are more concerned about the chocolate, the flowers, the movie and the dinner or sitting at home moaning about having no one.

Valentine’s Day was for the first time in a long time described as a day to appreciate and say thank you to those around you. Surprise them to show that you care, but not with something big and flashy. Instead, say “I love you” and “thank you.” Give them a hug and make them a cup of tea. Offer to do something nice to someone random. Because, honestly, it’s just a day. Like Thanksgiving and Christmas, we get obsessed with what we are “supposed to do” when the point is to be thankful and show others that you care. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about spending money on gestures that are expected. That’s just lame. It’s about doing something special for someone who isn’t expecting.

So, this Valentine’s Day, call your mom and dad, your brothers and sisters, your friends and complete strangers and say something nice. Ask them about their day and really listen. Give the flowers to the friend you know is feeling lonely and a hug to your best friend. Treat yourself with chocolates (and then, maybe a gym session). Just enjoy it. Otherwise, it’s just another day.