Love

Lately I've had the word love on my mind a lot. I think we all do at one point, no? Love ... Where to even begin with this word?  What is love? I can't say love is defined in one way because not everyone sees love in the same light. I always felt like the oddball out compared to my friends because I didn't feel the same way how my friends felt. Was there something wrong with me? Then again I wouldn't say I'm like most girls when it comes to relationships. In the end, I think that's ok. I've figured that everyone describes and defines love in different ways. Every time you find that love, it will be different than before. Some people show love through verbal cues such as "I love you", romance, or shower their significant other with gifts. In the end, we can all agree we all need is love.

I think most people think love is about romance. Love isn't always about romance. People all receive and give love in various ways to many different people in our lives. There are some people who are firm believers about love, whereas others aren't as open to falling in love due to past experiences in their relationships. Perhaps you've been heartbroken so many times that you're cautious to who you fall in love with. Maybe it's your first relationship and you're not sure what love is. Maybe you've heard painful stories from friends and family that you're skeptical about love. How can this small 4 letter word be so huge and turn your life around? Whatever reason it may be, it's your journey to find what your definition of love is. For me, I'm still finding what love is.

Valentine's Day is coming up and even if you don't have someone to spend your Valentine's Day with, it's absolutely necessary to have a happy life. Not just on this holiday, but all the time. Due to this word love in my head, I thought I could discuss a few thoughts on the subject.

1. You have to love yourself

Everyone comes from different backgrounds. Some of us grew up in a loving and encouraging family, whereas some of us didn't. For those who came from a fortunate loving family, be thankful everyday. You don't know how extremely blessed you are. There's so many people in this world who don't have the same privilege as you. The world is ugly at times, and sometimes the love you get makes the whole difference. At some point in our lives, we've all had some kind of relationship that left us hurt. In this case, you can't control your outside circumstances. I really wish we could, but what you can control are your choices. When you've gone through a rough time, it's hard to love again when you are so afraid that the next person will do the same. You have to first love yourself, then you can offer relationships and your strengths. We all have the power to make this decision no matter what hand life has dealt with us.

2. Be someone you would love 

It is always easier to blame others. What's hard is looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing that maybe it's you who needs to change. Honestly, no one is ever perfect. We all have flaws that we can change or accept. Before you have relationships, you have to become someone you would love. Be the nurturing mother you would want, be the girlfriend you would fall in love with. It's not easy, but a lifelong process. People in your life will help you if you are open to it. Stop focusing on others shortcomings so much and instead work and improve on yourself.

3. Love deeply 

Personally, I think this is the hardest to do so, especially if you have certain factors that prevent you to do so. For those who aren't afraid, don't hold back. Don't hold grudges. Go all in. Honestly, people who fall in love deeply I envy. I wish I can do so, but it's not in my nature. We've probably all been hurt before, and I'm not saying we should ignore those situations. Those experiences makes us who we are and how we see the next relationship differently. Don't let past hurts prevent you from making new relationships or falling in love because you might be missing something truly remarkable who can possibly be your potential husband or wife. It can be scary to depend on anyone. Be open. Be brave.

4. Choose your important relationships 

I truly believe that we should all love. Love something or someone. We may not love everyone because it's impossible, but we should find love in the little things. An attitude of love is a great way to live your life. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone did this? However, this does not mean that you should open yourself up to being hurt over and over again. Choose the people who you acquire important relationships with. If someone has continually been a negative influence in your life or doesn't treat you the way you deserve, then they should not receive the privilege of being one of your close relationships. Spend the quality time and focus on people who are important than the people who could care less. Focus on the positive influences in your life. Love them deeply (Refer back to 3).

5. Love is work

Every important relationship in your life requires attention in order for it to grow. Sometimes I am guilty of being that friend who doesn't call back. It is SO easy to get busy with your life with work, school, family, or whatever you are passionate about. I should get dinner with my friends more often. I should call my friends that I haven't talked to ages. I should write letters to my friends in the army. I should go to the temple more often to pray. I should find ways to show my significant how much I care for him more often. If you neglect any relationships it will decline over time. I've had many friends over the years that I've slowly drifted away from simply because I didn't make time for them. Of course, it's always a two way street, but if you really want something bad you will initiate. Afterwards, things should fall into place and if your friend truly cares, he or she will make the effort to meet up with you next or give you a call. Being a giving and loving person takes a lot of intentional effort. This is something I'm always working on.