The Importance of Flirtexting

A dating-ish blogpost. Deep breaths.

While I may not have a plethora of long-term relationships to reference, I have accumulated a small index of suitors over the years. The past several months have seen a string of bad first-dates and mediocre (yet amusing) courtships. And it all starts with flirting.

Today it’s not so much ‘love at first sight,’ it’s more like ‘love at first site.’ 70% of my initial meetings with these guys started online. Whether a poke (don’t do that) on my then-activated Facebook page, a DM message (don’t do that) on Twitter or a friend who solicited my phone number (only if he’s funny) to a prospective boyfriend, there was some technical advance made. Therefore, we AS A HUMAN RACE, need to acknowledge the significance of ‘flirtexting.’ An emoji can be the difference between “He’s a creep,” and “He’s a keeper.”

I can go into several different subtopics, but for this post, it’s all about texting banter.

A suitor, Ferguson* is by all accounts, a dreamboat. Handsome, ambitious and considerate; he’s a total catch. During text-based conversations, these images become fleeting. While Ferguson has a great personality, his presence via text is colorless and shriveling. We have what I call a “dry texter.” It happens to the best of them. With “Hey,” and the occasional, unaccompanied smiley face, I have very little material to be the “quirky girl-next-door.” Often I’m unresponsive and left unimpressed.

Banter will get you places biceps can’t.

Quality communication and effective flirting can affect the compatibility between two partners. (That last claim cannot be backed up with any hard evidence. I’m not a real doctor, just a love doctor.) Though small in comparison to other options, texting can lead to intellectual stimulation. An exchange of witty banter can spark a connection. Therefore, people should make an effort to be just as lively via text as they are in real life. I mean, you wouldn’t buy a girl a drink at the bar and open with, “Laughing out loud, I’m crying.” This is also important if busy schedules or distance separate two people. A great conversation and flirting keeps the girl interested and not at a loss for words.

My best tip is to show a vested interest in what he/she is saying. For example, if you ask me “What’s up?” and I reply with, “Watching ‘GIRLS’”, you could quip, “AKA Watching Lena Dunham get naked.” Or something like that.  Pop-culture references or offering similar, relevant information is a great way to get the conversation flowing.

Bottom line: Give good talk. Don’t compliment a joke, counter it. Dry texters wind up in dry spells. (And calling a girl is pretty sexy too.) Of course, this is one girl’s opinion. It’s what I personally like. Results may vary lady to lady.

*- The names have been changed. Or perhaps the character was made up entirely. Only my best friend, Nicole really knows.