Is Taylor Swift A Bad Example for Women?

We all know that girl. Perhaps she is from your office, your school, your neighborhood. She and her mane of blonde hair is outstandingly beautiful. She seems like a very nice girl, maybe because she dresses in a “cute” way or is not very outspoken (to your face, at least). She has a charm and a spunk about her that is irresistible–very Southeastern United States. She speaks often of her boyfriend troubles, which are many, and her relationships to boyishly handsome men hardly last longer than two or three months. She is in her early twenties, but it seems as though her attitude toward the world remains in high school.

She probably still diaries.

She is adorable to look at, is she not?

One of these girls is famous! Taylor Swift has been in the public eye since around 2007, but did not reach astronomical levels of stardom until the release of her second album, Fearless (the fact that this album was as successful as it was and won Album of the Year at the Grammys still bewilders me). Since then, she has been the subject of more criticism and more publicity than any country artist since, well, I’ve been alive. The weird part is, 90% of it is positive.

Disclaimer: I do not hate Taylor Swift! I am not a Swift basher. I’m not going to focus on her personality because I think she’s darling. I’m glad she’s around, her music is catchy, and I would never speak ill of a fan. However, I’m here to explain why she is an awful example for girls and women alike.

To start my analysis of why she is a poor example, I will utilize a quote from my roommate, Edith Chu:

“Miley Cyrus is engaged to her long time boyfriend and is often called a “slut” because she might have a more controversial history and lifestyle, but Taylor Swift is depicted as somewhat of a princess even though her relationships are all short-lived and hardly have gaps between them.”

There is a certain way to portray heartbreak in music. You lay your feelings out there and tell the world how you feel and how hurt you are. All girls (some more secretly than others) thrive on those songs when they feel the same way. However, those heartbreak songs must be paired with songs that show growth and maturity: the post-breakup development, the “I’m okay without you” song, the “time to focus on me” songs, and maybe the occasional kick-ass anthem that swears off boys forever. Heck, maybe write some songs that have nothing to do with the opposite sex at all! Songs about family, friends, the weather, whatever! To me (and I’ll only speak for myself), Taylor Swift does not do this.

I looked up the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s entire Fearless album, and only 4 songs (Tell Me Why, Breathe, The Best Day [I actually really liked these lyrics], Change) did not contain a direct reference to a relationship with a boy. The lyrics to “The Way I Loved You” made me embarrassed for Taylor Swift, frankly:

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it’s like

I couldn’t ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it’s 2am and I’m cursing your name

You’re so in love that you act insane

And that’s the way I loved you

Breakin’ down and coming undone

It’s a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that’s the way I loved you

Girls and women should be assured by powerful female entertainers that a breakup, or any boy, for that matter, is not equivalent to total life derailment. Of course, a breakup is a big deal! Show us that in a few of your songs, Taylor Swift, not over ¾ of an entire album.

It is also extremely important to point out that recently, as Taylor Swift has grown older and her relationship count has increased, her songs have drifted toward the constant blaming of her ex-boyfriends for the breakups. I mean, there is no possible way that every one of Taylor’s ex-boyfriends has broken up with her and she has nothing bad to say about herself. Taking responsibility in relationships is so important, especially as one grows older and is expected to mature emotionally. In her new song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”, she sings:

I remember when we broke up the first time?

Saying this is it, I’ve had enough, ’cause like?

We haven’t seen each other in a month?

When you, said you, needed space, what??

Then you come around again and say?

Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change?

Trust me, remember how that lasted for a day?

I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you

I’m really gonna miss you picking fights?

And me, falling for a screaming that I’m right?

And you, will hide away and find your piece of mind

with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine

It’s a catchy pop rhythm with lyrics so accusatory that I can hardly count all of the “you”s! Taylor is portrayed as this strong, independent woman, singing “We are never ever ever ever getting back together!,” but only after she blames her ex for each and every one of their problems. She is exhausted by his efforts to get back together with her. Must be hard in her world.

Finally, I take a step outside her songwriting abilities to observe her highly publicized personal life. She goes through relationships like any other 22-year-old girl–nothing is really permanent, just testing the waters. And that’s okay! What’s not okay is that we know the most about her relationships through her childish namedropping and unabashed dedication of sections of albums to certain ex-boyfriends. Remember the John Mayer scandal? “Dear John”?

 You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain

And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday

Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight

Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

 Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone

Don’t think I was too young to be messed with?

The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

I should’ve known

 Not only does she continue to blame her troubles on the current male subject, but this one has a name to it: John Mayer! This song, with the name attached, is reduced to gossip. Keep the specificities in your journal, Taylor. I have always found her as a very mean and needy person in her music, ever since the song “You Belong With Me” was released. Did it ever occur to Taylor that this boy in question simply did not want her? How is it appropriate for her to trash his current girlfriend’s aesthetic value, and then declare her sense of entitlement to this boy because she has “been there”? This song used to send me into rants at the height of its popularity as girls began to wistfully claim that so-and-so “belonged with them” rather than the lovely girl so-and-so was already with.

This is her newest flame, Harry Styles of One Direction.

It makes me cringe to know that Taylor Swift fans use “Fearless” as their motto of strength and perseverance, when that song is about nothing more than being brave enough to enter a relationship with a boy and let this boy love her. There is so much more that a girl needs to focus on that Taylor Swift will never show her.