Let's Talk About Sluts!

You see a woman walking down the street. As she approaches, you notice that she’s wearing a shirt that says Kill Me in bold letters. You think “yes, okay”. You walk up to her with intent, wrapping your hands around her neck and start squeezing. She screams and fights, kicking and yelling, begging you to leave her alone, let go, stop. But you don’t. You think, why, why should I stop? She’s obviously asking for it.

In this scenario, she was clearly in the wrong. You were blameless. You were the victim of your baseless, carnal impulses. You couldn’t possibly have been expected to control your instincts– who could fault you? She shouldn’t have been wearing what she did, asking to be murdered.

Now most of us– hopefully all of us– reading this would be appalled. Disgusted, even. Good for you! Gold star. And why were you so shocked? Well, maybe these were some of the thoughts running through your head:

• •Murder is illegal! What are you thinking?
• •That’s immoral! How could you do such a thing?
• •Who cares if she’s wearing a shirt that says Kill Me, you wouldn’t rape her if she’d been wearing–

Oh wait.

Well that’s the big issue now, isn’t it? You wouldn’t– shouldn’t– kill someone because their clothing is screaming MURDER ME PLEASE, because you know better, right? There are consequences, first of all, and second, you’re not inhumane. You’re a person with a heart, with a conscience, with the capability of feeling guilt.

So why does our culture accept victim-blaming so easily in cases of rape? She was wearing a mini-skirt and fishnet stockings, she was obviously asking for it. She was wearing a low-cut top and sky-high heels, she wanted it so bad. And the men! The men, they just can’t think for themselves, it’s not their fault. They have no control over themselves, they’re nothing but animals, would you fault a wild animal for killing?

There are very serious problems with how our culture, and I’m speaking from a Western point of view, approaches rape. Rape is an act of violence, an emotionally and physically scarring event that can destroy women’s (and men’s) lives. And while this ordeal is enough to devastate anyone, to blame the victim is another matter entirely. To tell the woman (and I use “woman” arbitrarily) that she was at fault due to the clothing she was wearing and the way she was acting is to invalidate her experience, to belittle the horror she’s gone through. By doing so, we are simultaneously allowing this rape, accepting the perpetrator’s actions as something that is standard, expected even.

Food for thought– your house gets robbed and society tells you that you shouldn’t have had valuables in your house anyway. Your car gets stolen and the media says nice cars gets stolen, you should’ve been driving some rusted old clunker if you expected to keep it. You get mugged on street, well too bad sucker, you shouldn’t have been walking outside.