Get Sick Real Quick

The first wave of midterms has finally arrived for those unlucky ones whose professors don’t understand the meaning of a midterm. The cold is also circulating. And since I’ve caught a little something myself, I can tell you how YOU can get sick just like me, in case you want a legitimate excuse to delay the inevitable.

Be around sick people. The more the merrier! We all know it’s an airborne disease, transmissible through breathing, coughing, and sneezing. Take care of everyone who has lost their voice and you are sure to lose yours. Kissing your sick significant other (or some cute stranger) and sharing food will also help increase your likelihood of visiting the doctor.

Stay up late. Adequate sleep strengthens your immunity system, so get as little sleep as possible to weaken your body’s defense mechanism. You’ll find yourself drained of energy, and what little energy you have left will be used for staying awake in class, if you can even manage that.

Dehydrate yourself. H₂O. Don’t drink too much of it or you will get hydrated.

Leave the jacket at home. Some cities have nice, consistent weather. Davis at this time of the year likes being unpredictable. Good news though – this wishy washy weather is perfect cold season. To save yourself the hassle of carrying extra layers, a shirt and shorts will suffice. If it gets too cold, just tough it out. Let those goose bumps be a reminder to you of how amazingly adaptable your body is.

Chicken (noodle) soup. It’s your best friend when you get sick. You know what to do here.

Medicine. They help you get better. They ease the soreness of your throat, decrease the frequency of your coughs, unplug your sinuses, and help you get a great nights’ sleep, among a myriad of other amazing benefits. Avoid it at all costs. Let your immune system do the fighting, not some laboratory-created fluid whose chemical ingredients you can’t even pronounce.

Speak up. Use your voice as often as possible, whether or not you have one. Talk as if there is no tomorrow. A sore throat will make your medical excuse that much more believable, and will work wonders if you need to speak with your professor.

Having been sick for over a week now, I know exactly what can get you sick, quick. At one point I almost got better, and then…I stayed up until 7:30am doing homework. So if you need an excuse to miss a midterm, follow the above steps. Just remember to get that doctor’s note, or all your work (suffering) will be for naught.