St. Pete Man Dodges Darwinism

By Sally Burnette on October 14, 2012

According to the Orlando Sentinel, a 26 year old St. Petersburg, FL resident is in critical condition, because he shot himself in the head with a .44 caliber. Playing Russian roulette. Idiot. Wait though, it gets better: the dudes who brought this guy to the hospital lied and said the injury was the result of a “home invasion.”

Yay guns! (photo by Flickr user cliff1066™)

First of all, who plays Russian roulette? You really want to die sitting around with your stupid friends around a card table, after drinking a case of Natty Light, probably wearing a wifebeater, just to prove, what? That you’re not afraid? That you’re super cool with your gun? That you have a really small penis and need to overcompensate?

You know what they say about big trucks… (photo by Flickr user photofarmer)

Second of all, what were they planning on doing if this guy died (or dies) or if either of them had died? Would they have called 911? Yeah, that would have gone over well: “Oh hey operator, I triple-dog-dared my friend to shoot himself in the head, and he did it, and he’s, like, super dead now.” And then after this guy survives, they decide to lie about what happened. ”He got shot during a home invasion.” Really? Original. Have you never seen any crime show ever? Don’t you know that you can’t just say whatever you want without backing it up?

(photo by Flickr user Michael T. Williams)

Well, thankfully or not, they’ve dodged natural selection for the time being. Maybe after their pal gets out of the hospital they can go back to playing other totally awesome games like “who can snort the most anthrax?” or “who can swallow the most leaky condoms filled with liquid cocaine?”.