To Nap, Perchance to Sleep

Want to hear an interesting fact? I’m not quite sure that it’s true, but during my senior year of high school, one of my teachers told our class that people within our age group and in to college need nine hours of sleep. That being said, over the past 72 hours, I’ve had about seven.

Most of this is the result of procrastination, “fomo,” improper hierarchy of priorities and analysis paralysis. Let me explain…

Procrastination is a tired and clichéd excuse of college kids and the human species alike. We understand it, we practice it, we love to hate it. “Fomo” may be a new term for most people, and by most I’m going to assume just about anyone besides the seven girls I live with. It is defined as the “fear of missing out.” Symptoms include an impossible need to be around others and even a sacrifice of time or needs to be a part of a collective. My roommate has had fomo since middle school, she says. “It’s like that middle school feeling of not wanting to be the first to fall asleep at a sleepover… it NEVER went away.”

The improper hierarchy of priorities is something I designed to make myself feel better for waiting until the last minute to do things. So far, it’s working. My justification for not sleeping this weekend was that during this week I worked 30 hours and had two exams. In reality, I could have sacrificed a little sleep during the week as opposed to just staying away for 36 hours in a row.

My eyes are now sunk so far into my face I look like a different breed of college student. I smell of cold coffee and stale crackers. For some reason my stomach hurts constantly and without reason until I get rest. I’ve made myself susceptible to all and any types of illness just in time for the inevitable cold season that comes with the decreasing temperatures. Yolo…?

The final term I used is called “analysis paralysis,” and it is commonly used to describe the power being that overwhelmed has over a person to the point of incapacitating them– similar to snake venom, or catatonic schizophrenia. Basically, when my to-do list reaches more than five lines, I feel this strange sensation come over me and suddenly can do nothing but work at 25% of my full mental and physical capacity.

These are the steps to becoming extremely sleep deprived and eventually losing your mind. Believe me, or don’t, and join me.