Making Rules Collaborative: Letting Sitters Have Input

You know your children, but so do your babysitters. After working with your children for some time, a sitter might come to you with input and an opportunity to collaborate on rules together. Don’t take this as them undermining your parenting, but rather you are both focused on doing what is best for your children. In fact, you may even ask them for advice. Depending on your sitter and their own life experiences and past childcare expertise, they may have ideas or a different point of view on the rules you have set.

Making rules collaboratively helps nurture a respectful and safe environment for you, your sitter, and your children. Utilize this chance to let your sitters have input to co-create the best space for your children.

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Clear Communication

Clear and open communication is always one of the most important parts of a relationship with any sitter. You and your sitter need to keep each other updated throughout the day, and if there are any major developments or important information. Continue this clear collaboration through the collaborative process. As you work together on rules, you need to clearly state and plan out expectations. This includes when and how to implement new rules, how your children react, and how to enforce them.

When you do not communicate clearly and assume your sitter is on the same page as you, there can be serious misinterpretations that will only negatively impact your children. Children thrive on consistency, so instability will cause heavy confusion, especially if the new rules are changing something they are already used to.

Start to lay out everything like a road map so both of you take the same turns and end up in the same place. Communication doesn’t end there: conduct regular meetings, whether these are weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. These give you dedicated time together to discuss everything, and if anything needs to change going forward. Use this opportunity to lay out your expectations and

Remain Open-Minded

An important rule of collaboration is open-mindedness. It’s difficult for you to be co-creators when you shut down everything your sitter suggests. Even if your sitter’s input sounds like something you don’t like right away, take some time to consider it and view it from a neutral standpoint. Utilize that open communication detailed above and listen to new changes. Instead, hear your sitters out. Don’t be afraid to ask questions so you fully understand where this idea is coming from and how it would positively impact your home and children.

Resist the urge to refuse immediately. Take some time to think it over and talk it through with your partner, if applicable. Take as much time as you need and reconvene the next day or even the next week, depending on when you’ve decided on your regular meeting or if you decide they need to be more frequent in the beginning stages.

Listen to Feedback

It can be easy to get defensive and anxious when your sitter comes to you and informs you that something isn’t really working. Feedback in a work respect really isn’t personal, even if it feels that way sometimes. In a position like this, it comes from a genuine love and care for your children and wanting what’s best for them. It is not criticism, but thoughts on how you can improve even further. Nothing or no one is ever perfect, ourselves included. Parenting is difficult, and your sitters just want to help you create and foster a nice, safe environment

Proceed with feedback as a jumping-off point to build something great together. Consider what the feedback really says and find what is and isn’t working.

Respect Boundaries

Lastly, both you and your sitter need to respect each other’s boundaries. If there is something you want to change that your sitter genuinely isn’t comfortable with, such as being on a 24/7 live “nanny cam” camera feed, you have to respect it. Invading their boundaries only contributes to a toxic environment, which is quite the opposite of what making rules collaborative is supposed to achieve. Naturally, if you give a hard no to a suggested rule, your sitter needs to follow that as well.

Respect goes both ways and is necessary to collaborate on rules. Take advantage of the aforementioned open communication to make those clear. What rules that you’ve set are hard boundaries for you, such as bedtimes, diet, and consequences for your children.

Making rules collaboratively and letting your sitters have input will be a great opportunity for you to try something new and see how it positively impacts your children. Communicate, listen to each other, and come up with rules together by utilizing feedback and keeping an open mind. Start by asking your sitter for their input and see where you can go from there–together!