Helpful Hacks for Your Babysitter When Your Kids Act Out

As a parent, you want to believe that your children will be on their best behavior when they’re with a sitter. You don’t want to spend the entire time away from your kids worrying about what they’re doing, if they’re being good, and how to get back to them as soon as possible. You’ve got a busy schedule, and you deserve to live in the moment.

But let’s be real: bad behavior happens. Nobody is perfect, so there are going to be times when your children act out with their babysitters. To ease your stress, you can prepare your babysitter so they’re proactive and ready to respond to your children’s misbehavior. Here’s a list of strategies that work towards redirecting or responding to negative behavior from children.

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Positive Reinforcement

For young kids, acting out is usually attention-seeking behavior. Children know that adults pay attention to them when they misbehave. While discipline is negative attention, most children would rather experience negative attention than no attention at all. They’re like little celebrities desperate for a piece of gossip to hit the tabloids; no press is bad press.

For many kids, disruptive, inappropriate behavior is the way to achieve their goal: attention from their caregivers. Discipline no longer becomes effective because it’s precisely what the misbehaving child wants. However, parents and caregivers can interrupt this pattern by giving children more attention and praise over positive and healthy choices. For example, you can try the following;

• Praise a child for doing their chores, homework, or another tedious task. Example: “I see how hard you’re working on your homework. Great job.”

• Share an observation about positive behavior. Example: “Sharing your favorite stuffed animal with your little brother was so kind. I’m proud of you. Look how happy he is!”

• Encourage them to continue making good choices. Example: “Thank you for doing a great job listening to my directions while we crossed the street.”

Give Choices

Have you ever given instructions to a child, only to have them flat-out refuse? They cross their arms, pout and scream. Nothing you say motivates them or changes their mind.

As children grow up, they begin to develop their own sense of self and personal agency. It may seem like little ones have it easy because they don’t have to think about bills or other adult responsibilities, but it is hard for a developing mind to constantly be told what to do. Presenting children with options gives them a sense of agency while cutting down on temper tantrums and pushback.

Here’s an example: It’s time for babysitter Melissa to start the child’s bedtime routine. Alice hates getting tucked in when her mother isn’t home. To avoid her stressor, she starts to cry and scream anytime Melissa tries to get her to the bathroom so she can brush her teeth and change into pajamas. Melissa comes up with an idea. She gives Alice a choice, “Do you want to brush your teeth or change into your princess pajamas?” Alice loves her princess pajamas! Now she’s excited about getting ready for bed. She gets to exercise her choice and feel involved in the process.

Calming Techniques

Everything in life is new to a child, especially their emotions. This is why kids have such big reactions. Children are learning how to manage their emotions, so they need adults to be teachers.

Babysitters can work on calming techniques with your children. One common calming technique involves taking deep breaths. It sounds simple, but regulating your breath can have a huge impact on your nervous system. Slow, steady breaths take your nervous system out of a fight or flight reaction and into a relaxed state.

You can teach kids to do this by telling them to place their hands on their belly and take a deep breath. They should feel their bellies fill up like a balloon. This will help them understand what is happening inside their body. If they have a hard time understanding this concept, try the candle trick. Hold up your pointer finger like it’s a birthday candle. Ask the child to blow out the candle. Naturally, they’ll take a big breath and slowly release it.

If your babysitter is feeling overwhelmed, they can also use calming techniques. Adults also benefit from mindful breathing. Counting to ten in your head before reacting is another useful strategy.

Take a Break

Despite your or your babysitter’s best efforts, temper tantrums will likely still happen. This is natural. A babysitter can respond by acknowledging the child’s behavior and asking them to step away from the issue at hand.

Removing the child from the situation, or taking a break, is similar to a time-out, but with a more positive spin. While the child sits by themselves, they can practice the calming techniques you’ve taught them. It’s common practice for their break to last the same amount of time as their age (a three-minute break for a three-year-old).

When they have a clear mind, the babysitter can have a conversation about what went wrong. The child will learn how to express their thoughts and emotions. The babysitter can give examples about how to handle the situation in the future. By talking it out together, the child learns how to cope and may be less likely to react as strongly in the future.