7 Ways You Can Prepare Your Sitter Deal With Your Kid's Separation Anxiety

As a parent, leaving your child is always difficult. When you have a child with separation anxiety, however, it can be hard to not only deal with the emotions that come with seeing your child in distress, but it can also be difficult to adequately prepare your babysitter to deal with them appropriately.

If you’re a parent with a child who struggles with separation anxiety, here are seven tips to help your sitter ease their anxiety.

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1. Talk to Your Child About the Sitter in Advance: Before you begin preparing for a fun night out or an important day at work, it’s important to talk with your child beforehand. Ask your child for a few minutes to have a talk, but don’t make the conversation seem daunting or like a big deal. Be as natural as possible and explain that you are going to leave for a short period of time. If you can quantify this time and inform your child that you’ll be gone for X minutes or X hours, that’s even better. Explain the reason for leaving, whether it’s you meeting up with a special friend to catch up or for a work presentation that requires your presence. Then, share that they will be in the care of someone you know and trust very much and that you will be back as soon as you can.

2. Give Your Sitter the Rundown: Once you’ve prepared your child with details of your leaving, it’s time to give your sitter the rundown. Meet up at your house or for a cup of coffee somewhere and explain your child’s separation anxiety to them. Detail how separation anxiety manifests in your child, i.e. crying, tantrums, anger, detachment, etc., and give them tips on how to deal with these emotions. For example, if your child gets really sad and cries, give your babysitter the suggestion to do a joyful activity, like playing outside or making a meal together, to calm them. Provide your sitter with all of your knowledge of how to deal with your child, and highlight their favorite games, toys, shows, movies, etc. that can help distract them from the anxiety of being separated from you.

3. Foster Time for the Sitter to Get to Know Your Child: With both your child and your babysitter prepared for the event of you leaving, set aside some time for the two to get to know one another. This should be on the day of your leaving, however. Take some time perhaps a week or a few days prior to arrange a playdate of sorts with the sitter and your child (with you present) to help them both become familiar with one another. They can do things like draw/color, play games, make a meal, watch TV, etc. With you supervising or being present, it shows your child that you trust the sitter and that they are in good, safe hands.

4. Have an Established Routine For Your Child: Arguably the most important part of babysitting is implementing and following the established routine you have with your kids. Think about what your normal day and night looks like. What are your kids doing? How are they behaving? Do you have dinner together? Do they have schoolwork to do? Is there a curfew? Is there a limit to TV time or video games? By asking yourself those questions, and more, you can give your babysitter clear expectations with little room for miscommunication or error. Additionally, if you are going to be out overnight until the following morning, establish a morning routine as well, which could include helping with baths, cooking breakfast, cleaning up, etc.

5. Provide Your Child With a Comfort Object: Comfort objects are special, regardless of how young or old your child is. Comfort objects are typically stuffed animals, blankets, toys, or something that the child has a fondness for and an attachment to that brings them joy and comfort. Encourage your child to embrace and play with their comfort object while you’re gone, and explain the significance of the comfort object to the sitter. Ultimately, a comfort object can make your child feel more secure and calm when you’re gone, which is the end goal!

6. Allocate Extra Time to Say Goodbye Before Leaving: Goodbyes are never easy, especially for children with separation anxiety. “Part of what can make saying goodbye stressful for kids is if it feels rushed,” Matthew James Taylor of Kidsit writes. “If parents are frantic to get out the door because they have a taxi waiting or they have a dinner reservation at a specific time to make, they might seem frazzled and not give their full attention to saying goodbye to their child.” To avoid this, set aside some time, around ten minutes, for your child to not only say goodbye to you as you leave but also adjust to the babysitter coming over. With that being said, don’t make a big deal about leaving, as this can cause more stress for your child.

7. Allow For Open Communication While You’re Gone: Make it clear to your babysitter to contact you if something goes wrong or if your child is having issues, such as they’re not behaving well, breaking something, etc. On the contrary, encourage your babysitter to inform you of positives that occur while they are babysitting, such as eating all their food/vegetables, respecting rules without tantrums or fussing, or little things worth talking about.

Dealing with separation anxiety as a parent comes with its fair share of trials and tribulations, especially when a babysitter is involved. These tips, however, can help make the transition of your leaving a bit easier and soothe their nerves.