Tips for Learning to Love Yourself Properly

Let’s be honest: acquiring self-love is more difficult than what society wants us to believe. True self-love, for most individuals, takes years to obtain with multiple societal factors constantly nagging at us to be ourselves, but not too much. When we are babies, we come into a new world, eager to understand and explore our surroundings. But as we get older, our mindsets start to change, activating a heightened sense of awareness, and the many pressures of life settle in.

As college students, particularly growing up in this digital climate, we are more pressured to have this “Keeping up with the Joneses” mentality to constantly validate ourselves through outward perceptions. There is an incessant pressure to always be the best, look the best, and have the best at the youngest age possible, or else, you must not be doing life right; the expectations are endless.

And all this, especially combined with other detrimental factors such as unresolved childhood traumas, negative past experiences, or mental health issues can affect your psyche and the ability to properly show yourself the care you need to feel whole. As stated before, starting, and even continuing self-love journeys can be tough; the journey takes time and effort, but they always are not impossible, and so worth it. Either way, I am rooting for you reading this; I am right with you. Self-love is the best love. Here are some tips to begin or continue your journey of self-love and acceptance:

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1. Start off your days with a mantra or a prayer. 

Personally, when I was first suggested this tip by my peers, I took it for granted. It was until I fell to one of the lowest points of my life, that I became desperate and tried speaking kinder words to myself, even if I did not necessarily believe them at the time. And as a personal testimony, regardless of the cliché, words really do matter. Saying the words, “I can do this,” have so much power and can do so much; mantras do not have to be elaborate to be effective. By starting your day off by simply saying nice things to yourself, you are subconsciously setting the tone that can either make or break your mood. If you are spiritual, saying a prayer and connecting with higher power can give you the strength to conquer the day and ease any impending anxieties.

2. Keep a wellness journal.

Keeping a wellness journal works wonders for keeping track of your progression on your journey. Having components such as a gratitude checklist, daily entries of your day, a list of qualities you like/love about yourself, and including written daily mantras can be used as a physical reminder to continue to persevere, especially through your “off” days. Progression does not always look like a straight cute to the top, it varies and can change course. Use your journal as a symbol to keep striving to be your best self and watch yourself grow!

3. Remember to take a mental break. 

We are not perfect. It is okay to want to detach from the daily stresses of life and put your mind at ease. It is okay to admit you need to relax. Taking a mental break can range anywhere from limiting your daily usage of social media to taking some time out of your day to do activities that make you feel relaxed and happy. As humans, it is essential to take mental breaks in order to function properly, avoid burnout, and even prevent breakdowns. Listen to your body: take a break or your body will find a way of doing it for you. Take time out for yourself where you see fit!

4. Pamper yourself.

Go ahead, buy yourself some flowers. Pampering yourself is a great way to show yourself some adoration; call it self-care. Whether it be updating your skincare routine, giving yourself a personal spa day, whipping up your favorite comfort meal, or reading a good book: do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

5. Accept yourself as you are. 

In all honesty, this tip may be the hardest on the list to carry out due to the societal pressures we are dealt, to constantly achieve perfection. Learning to accept yourself and all your flaws  We are told to be ourselves and love ourselves, but not too much, at the mercy of other people’s comfortability. We can be confident in our looks and body types, but not too confident, to conform to society’s unrealistic beauty standards. On social media, we see a glamorized reality, one where people’s flaws are barely visible. But, they are there; every single person has their own personal battles and insecurities, we just do not know about them upfront. We each possess our own unique light that shines.  Imagine living in a work where everyone looks the same or does the same things? Life would be so boring and dull. Embrace your individuality; there is no one on this Earth like you.