Confessions of a Serial Ghoster

By Marina Krivonossova on March 8, 2021

Contrary to what impression the title of this article gave you, this isn’t an early Halloween special in which I interview a supernatural being (though how cool would that be!) Rather, this will be will be a conversation I had with a person who has made a habit of ghosting others, whether it be potential employers, partners, friends — you name it. If you aren’t familiar with the term “ghosting,” it can be defined as the act of a person spontaneously cutting off all communication with an individual with whom they were previously regularly interacting. Ghosting isn’t a new practice, though the name is still relatively novel.

Today, I bring you the confessions of a serial ghoster — a college student named Steven (name changed for privacy purposes) — who admits to regularly ghosting people he’s dating, potential employers who reach out to invite him for interviews, friends he no longer wishes to be in touch with, and many more. Have you ever wondered why people ghost? Have you ever been curious to get inside the mind of a ghoster? Now is your chance to do just that.

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Marina: “Hi Steven, thank you for agreeing to speak with me today and share some confessions of a serial ghoster. I’d like to dive right in to discuss the topic at hand: ghosting. You admitted to me previously that you are a serial ghoster with no intention of changing your ways. Can you tell me more about that?”

Steven: “Hey Marina, no problem at all. I have definitely been ghosting people since before I knew that ghosting had a name. If I want to break up with someone, if I want to end a friendship, if I no longer want a job I applied for, I’ll generally just ghost the person. I honestly think it’s easier than having that awkward — well, probably awkward — conversation of what changed, why it’s not working out, all that. I think it just saves me time and energy, but also saves the other person a lot of trouble.”

Marina: “Hm, interesting. How did you first become a ghoster? Do you remember? And why do you think it’s easier to just ghost people instead of having that open and honest conversation with them about why you no longer want to pursue a personal or professional relationship?” 

Steven: “I wanna say it started in middle school. I found out a friend of mine was talking about me behind my back, and I confronted him. He got mad, went off on me. I didn’t like that. Little bit later I was dating a girl, and it turned out she was way different than when we first got together. Just not my type, you know? I went to break it off, and she lost it. Screaming, sobbing, yelling at me. Horrible stuff. Those two experiences happened pretty close to each other, and I kind of just thought to myself, ‘What if I just cut off contact with people instead of getting into those situations?’ And so the next few times I wanted to end things with people, that’s exactly what I did. And man, what a game changer. People tell me it’s messed up, but I think it just cuts down on drama and makes everyone’s life easier.”

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Marina: “I can imagine those two situations weren’t the most pleasant to experience. But don’t you think it’s unfair to assume your confrontations with 100% of people will have that same negative result? There’s so many reasonable folks out there, and I think we can both agree that a lot of them deserve some explanation as to why you’re mysteriously cutting off contact with them. I know if I was friends with someone or dating them, I would hate to become the victim of ghosting, simply as a result of an unfair assumption they made.”

Steven: “I’ve thought about that. But honestly, it’s just not something that’s worth dealing with in my opinion. It’s a lot of effort, it’s a lot of hassle. I think people will forget about me pretty quickly after I ghost them. And I wouldn’t care too much if I got ghosted either. It’s happened to me before, and I got over it with no problems. I deserve better than people who just cut me off, and I hope that the people I ghost react the same way. It’s just not meant to be, right? At least I think that’s how they should react.”

Marina: “Thanks for sharing your perspective, Steven. On a final note, I had one more question: would you encourage other people to ghost? Or do you see the more problematic side of it?”

Steven: “I tried to understand why people might see it as a big deal, but I just don’t. People come and go. I think if you want to avoid drama in your life and don’t want to bring drama into other people’s life, ghosting isn’t a horrible option. But I get it doesn’t work for other people who get more emotionally attached. I guess I’m just not one of them.”

And with that, I will wrap up my interview in which I shared these confessions of a serial ghoster. Have you ever been ghosted? Or have you ever been guilty of being a ghoster? Don’t hesitate to share your experiences with ghosting in the comments. I know most of us have been on either end of the ghosting spectrum at least once in our lives!

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