Should You Move in With Your Significant Other?

By Kaitlin Hurtado on August 24, 2018

Maybe your lease is coming to an end, or your current roommate situation isn’t exactly the housing situation of your dreams, but regardless of the reason – you are currently weighing your different options for your next housing decision. You think of what your friends are doing with their own housing. They could be rooming with each other, living with complete strangers, or even living with their significant others. The idea pops into your head – should you just move in with your significant other and call it a day?

The idea of moving in with your significant other can leave you scared, wondering if your relationship is ready for that next big step of settling down into the same living space. Or it can leave you excited and hopeful of the prospect of spending even more time with your significant other. Whatever your current opinion on the decision is right now, read on to consider if moving in with your significant other is the right move and if you think it is, what should you do to make the move as comfortable as possible for both of you.

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Is moving in with your significant other the right move? 

With such a big question, there is no right and wrong answer. Every relationship is different – full of various personalities, desires, quirks, and so on- and it is impossible to have a perfection timeline for relationships. There is no definite time stamp of when it is right to move in with your significant other – determining whether it is the “right” move or not depends on your own personal relationship. Some people may be ready to move in after months together, others will hesitate to exchange keys even after years have passed in a relationship.

Regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship, consider how comfortable you are with one another. You want to be comfortable in your living space, and you would want the same for your significant other. You can love going on dates with them, but you may also love returning to your own private space just as much. If you are one to value your own private time and space, maybe moving in with your significant other is not the best step for your relationship as of now, and that’s perfectly okay.

If you think going out on dates or studying in between classes is not nearly enough time to spend with your significant other, moving in with your significant other may be the next step in your relationship. Or maybe, you spend enough time at one another’s living spaces that it just makes sense to collapse the separate spaces into one by moving in together. Whatever the reasons may be that lead to your final decision to move in with your significant other may best yet when you consider all it can add to your relationship.

So you’ve decided to move in together, what’s next? Whatever the step, communication is key. 

When you decide that moving in with your significant other is the next step in your relationship, you need to remind each other of possible changes to your relationship. Living together is going to introduce new dynamics in your relationship and while you think it’ll be all sunshine and daisies,  it’ll also require work from both of you as you become roommates.

You can’t just storm off after an argument, especially when your living space is now their living space. You can’t exactly lock your significant other out of your room when you need time to cool off when it is their bedroom as well. You need to set up boundaries beforehand and remind yourself that you not only need to respect your significant other as your equal in the relationship but also a roommate.

Before you move in, set boundaries like you would with any roommate. Cleaning duties, household rules (guests, parties), and other discussion points you two think you need to bring up. If you have spent a lot of time together, you probably have been around each other enough to know their quirks, or how they behave in their own living space. Know that these things definitely do not go away overnight, so when you nag on them to clean up or vice versa, it’s going to be just as important to communicate about household matters as it is to discuss issues in your relationship.

The transition from being just significant others to adding being roommate is going to change some things in your relationship and that is nothing to fear. Change is inevitable, but it’s up to you to decide how things are going to change in your relationship – for better or for worse. Moving in with your significant other may just be the best thing you can do for your relationship and you will never know unless you try.

By Kaitlin Hurtado

Uloop Writer
Hello! I'm Kaitlin, a fourth year Literary Journalism major at UC Irvine. I'm a writer on Uloop's national team and a campus editor for UCI.

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