I Can't Hang Out: I'm Applying to Grad School!

By Francine Fluetsch on November 2, 2016

This article is brought to you by Kaplan, the leader in test prep for over 90 standardized tests, including the GRE, GMAT, LSAT, and MCAT.

Applying to grad school is no simple task and is a huge time commitment for a short period of time. If your friends haven’t gone through the process themselves yet, they might not understand the pressure you are under as you are thinking about all of your grad applications, and may not really see why you can’t hang out with them at all during application season.

It might be a good idea to share the application process with them to give them the inside scoop, so they understand the stress and see that you aren’t ditching them on purpose, rather your applications are forcing you to stay put and finish them.

But how exactly do you explain the process to your friends who haven’t applied to grad school yet or who aren’t going to without sounding like you are above them or a total know-it-all who will bore them to tears?

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You want to keep it short, but also want to make sure that you emphasize the magnitude of applying to grad school and how it differs from undergrad. Here are some key things to point out that will help them see why you’ve shut yourself in your room for two weeks straight.

Grad school acceptance rates:

This one is important to mention, you just have to be careful to phrase it in the right way. Start by telling them how badly you want to go to a specific school, and then share with them how hard it is to get accepted into said school so they see why you need to take extra care in making yourself stand out.

Before applying to my grad program, I didn’t realize the limited amount of space that each program actually has. I found one school that was only going to accept two fiction writers to their program. TWO! I mean, that is insane, and if you aren’t currently going through the process, you might not really know how insane the jump is from undergrad to grad.

If your friends care about you and want to see you succeed, they will understand you having to skip out on some hangouts since you have to compete with many other talented students who are fighting for a spot in the grad school that you want.

Requirements of the application:

Grad school applications require a decent amount more than what was required for most undergrad applications, hence it will take you a lot longer to complete your apps, which your friends might not be aware of. Most grad programs require at least two letters of recommendation, which you will have to acquire from professors and anyone else in the professional world that you can think of that might have something decent to say about you to help get you into the program.

Two letters doesn’t seem like a lot, but your friends might not realize how hard these letters can be to get, especially when your professors aren’t responding to your emails about it, a professor says no because they don’t know you well enough, or the school you desperately want to get into needs four letters and you can’t, for the life of you, think of a fourth person to ask.

The essay (or essays) is another huge component that is weighed more heavily than most undergrads might have. You are going to spend many hours writing and rewriting them, and your friends won’t understand your quest for perfection unless you clue them in.

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Preparation before applying:

Grad apps usually require some sort of test to go along with your resume, essay, letters of rec, and anything else they are already asking of you. These tests, like the GRE, definitely require a lot of studying before you even get to think about filling out your applications. The GRE has to be taken (the latest) in the summer before you start your senior year, so you are already going to be thinking about grad app prep before graduation if you want to go in right out of undergrad.

It is important to explain this part of the process to your friends so they won’t convince you not to study and to keep putting it off. Trust me, you’ll easily be convinced because who wants to be studying for a stupid test like the GRE during summer vacation? But you have to keep in mind that this is for your future and you need to do well on the GRE to make your application stand out.

Extra materials:

Many grad programs also require extra materials to show off your work in order for them to consider you, which takes up even more of your time. This was not a requirement for undergrad (with an exception to some private, specialized schools), so your friends won’t get it unless you tell them why you have to stay in for hours on end perfecting your photography portfolio or what have you.

If you are applying to multiple programs, they might each have their own set of special requirements for the extra materials, so you are going to have to put in even more time and effort.

After you explain everything, your friends will understand and will be rooting for you to get those applications in! It will be worth it when you can go out and celebrate with them when it’s all over.

Learn more about Kaplan’s test prep options and start building the confidence you need for Test Day.

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