“May We Please Have some Respect?”

From flickr.com, uploaded by New Amsterdam Market

I work at an ice-cream shop in my hometown, and while there are several friendly and polite customers, I’m always amazed by how many unhappy, demanding, and just plain rude customers come to the ice-cream window each day.  After talking to several peers, friends, co-workers, and family members who have shared similar experiences,  I’ve realized that this is the case in almost every service job (receptionists, waiters, cashiers, etc).  I’m never the type of person to be rude or disrespectful in return, but these types of customers continue to annoy me.  No matter how discourteously some people behave, I’m always very friendly and helpful, and greet them with a big, genuine smile, and most workers I know personally are just as courteous.   However, I’m aware that often this is a two-way street, and some workers can be rude and unhelpful (and they deserve what they get), but customers should not have a preconceived notion of how the server will behave before they address them.  

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe they don’t even realize they are being rude.   So, I’ve decided to write an article about what customers say while they are ordering, and how it can be perceived negatively and condescending to the servers.  After all, who would choose to go out for ice-cream if they were so unhappy that they couldn’t even manage a polite hello!

First, tone of voice makes a huge difference, regardless of words; so always try to sound pleasant, like you are actually happy to be served exactly what you want.  Subconsciously, your servers will be more apt to do a good job if they know you are grateful for their efforts.

Second, as a child, you were always taught to say please and thank you and how to respectfully ask for something you wanted.  Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you are exempt from this rule.  Often, the children have better manners than the adults!  Here are common phrases that are not perceived positively by the servers:

“I need…”

You do not NEED ice-cream, that super-size of fries, or yes, even that designer purse; it is a desire and a want, not a necessity!

“Give me…”

Can I hear a “please” and a less demanding command?  Remember, as a rule of thumb, you will get better service and a happier server when you treat her with respect and common courtesy.  Just because you are older than the servers, does not give you the green light to treat them in a demeaning way.

Third, I realize that we all live busy lives, but even when there is  a line that seems endless, I still stop to ask my customers how they are doing.  The least you can do is utter the simple syllable “good” before proceeding with your order.  In response to “Hi, how are you today?!” there should not be a curt demand for the ice-cream that you so desperately “need!”

Fourth, I am not a mind reader (although I may have memorized orders from repeat customers); I do not always know what you would like.  When I ask if you would like a cup or cone, or rainbow or chocolate sprinkles, don’t shout at me “cone” or “chocolate” like it is the most obvious thing in the world, and therefore, I must be stupid.  Maybe you don’t realize this, but half of the customers would like their ice cream in a cup sprinkled with the colorful specks instead.   Also, sprinkles taste the same, whether they are chocolate or colored, (I’ve even conducted a taste test with a handful of friends and family to suggest this), so you might consider letting it go if a mistake is made and the wrong ones are accidentally used; not that this happens often, but mistakes do occur.

Lastly, no server is responsible if you order something that you don’t actually want.  Personally, I write down everything that is ordered and ask for clarification if I’m unsure, so don’t blame me when you receive exactly what you requested.  “Oh sorry, I meant vanilla, not twist.”  Well sorry; I already made it exactly as you ordered, so if you want something else, you must pay for it; I am not going to pay for YOUR mistake, reducing my already small paycheck.  I am a college student after all, and I’m working to pay for my enormous loans, not serving ice-cream for the fun of it!  I  have two options; throw it out, which is very wasteful, or eat it which will make me gain weight!

Now, after considering all of this, I would like to ask all customers as politely and respectfully as possible, for servers everywhere; “May we please have some respect?  Thank you.”