The Five Secret Treasures of Palm Beach County

While Florida State students may just be returning to the land of the school after a turbulent spring break, Palm Beach County and much of the state is just about to experience their mini-vacation. While I was back in my home county of Palm Beach, I revisited some of my favorite locales for a nostalgic trip down a very unusual memory lane.

Palm Beach County, while being only the third largest in the state, is home to perhaps some of the richest and most varied culture. Inside our borders are West Palm Beach, Delray, Lake Worth, Boca Raton, Palm Beach, and Jupiter, amongst others. Famous celebrities such as Johnny Depp and Oprah live out on our shores. Trainwrecks such as Trump run golf courses. And the delightful Cuban and Spanish cultures of our southern families are definitely to be found.

Much of my spring break was spent realizing that I have found some truly peculiar spaces around my Palm Beach, from all the way in the eastern tip of Jupiter, to the western tip of Glades Road in Boca. With a new flock of people heading down to find some cool vacation spots in the Palm Beach-es, I decided I should share some.

The entrance view of the Book Exchange

BOOK EXCHANGE: Located on North Lake, up in Palm Beach Gardens, this used book store and comic shop is perhaps the most stocked collectible book-store in the southern area. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves of rare bindings, modern fiction favorites, text books, histories, cook books, and anything you could imagine. Want to pick up the Game of Thrones series? They got it. Want to get a leather back binding of Chekov’s plays? Yep. How about a first edition printing of The Road? Hell yeah. In my last visit, I managed to snag The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut’s first book, years before Cat’s Cradle fame), along with Reza Aslan’s No god but God and an early printing of Catch 22, for an extremely reasonable two digit price. Bartering, cheap starting prices, and the collectible paraphernalia lining the wall make this book-store a must for book lovers, kids needing research for their essays, and those who want to trade books for newer reads. This is the strongest book store in Palm Beach, and while it may be a drive for some, is the right place to spend your dollar.

A down-range view of Gator’s archery range

GATOR GUNS AND ARCHERY: This nifty shop is right on the north-east corner of Okeechobee and Military, near the beloved Past Present Future Comic Shop and Rapids Waterpark, right down the road from Palm Beach’s famed Cityplace. While I can’t speak for much of the gun range (it is well priced, well stocked, well trained, and a great place from my experience), I have to talk about their archery range. Gator’s pricing and equipment make this range my go-to spot. For five dollars, you can rent a compound or recurve bow- and they’ll show you how to use it. To use the range, it costs you six dollars and hour. You won’t want to leave. The therapeutic nature of archery, as you practice trying to aim the wild projectile, is unrivaled, and this is my favorite place to do it.

Palm Beach’s happiest animals are at McCarthy.

MCCARTHY WILDLIFE SANCTUARY: Here’s something you don’t expect to find in a residential area. McCarthy Wildlife is located in the heart of Loxahatchee, a western tip of Palm Beach, and is the most loving sanctuary of exotic cats, birds, and reptiles. McCarthy treats native animals, healing and helping sick or injured, and releases them back to the wild. The exotic animals housed in their large walled areas are donated by “wildlife officers who confiscated these innocent creatures from the previous owners because of neglect, abuse, or illegal possession”. McCarthy cites that their carnivorous cats consume one thousand pounds of meat a week. The 170 animals they house are kept in McCarthy’s safe haven, and to see the ones who are comfortable with human eyes, you must schedule a private tour. Prices aren’t ridiculous, and for the opportunity to help continue the funding of this wonderful non-profit endeavor, I beg you to go support this magnificent cause. It may not be the Palm Beach zoo, but it certainly worth your dime.

Meet the love of your life, white pizza.

BROOKLYN BOYS: You’ve gotta eat while you’re down here. The spots to find great Cuban food are staggering (I recommend Guarapo’s in Boynton for skirt steak), the places that serve touristy food are innumerable, but has anybody ever thought Palm Beach home to strong New York pizza? Brooklyn Boys is on the north-west corner of Glades and 441, hidden right next to Starbucks. This whole-in-the-wall pizzeria is nothing to the eye- run by a few people behind the counter, small seating spaces, and about the exact thing you expect to see in New York City. Exactly what you’d see in the city. Hmm. I stumbled across this place over a decade ago, before a movie in the neighboring movie theatre. The pizza changed me. It’s absolutely greasy, too heavy to be held with one hand, hotter than you’d bear, cheap as hell, and the most delicious thing on this earth. Their white pizza will change you. Their garlic knots are absurd. I’ve heard mixed things about delivery from them, but who cares? Delivery isn’t what home-style pizzeria’s should pride themselves on, this isn’t Papa Johns. Brooklyn Boys pizza is always crowded, always a bit of a wait, and always worth every goddamn second. Get more pizza than you can eat, and don’t forget the knots. Palm Beach can be New York-ish without the retirees.

Welcome to the coolest nightmare ever

THE DUNGEON: In my sophomore year of high school, a senior told me he wanted me to join him in filming a zombie movie. I told him I was game. He said to meet him at the Dungeon. I was confused as hell, but he told me where to meet him, and he met me and the group walked down to the coolest spot south of Savannah. The Dungeon is a word-of-mouth tradition, a mystery, and a treasure. All I will tell you is that it is in Palm Beach County. Legend has it that the original design was an underground parking garage, but the skeleton was abandoned in the 1970s. Since then, parts of the ceiling, walls, and structure have collapsed, allowing the enclosing forest and fauna to reclaim what humanity installed. If you’ve ever wanted to feel as though you were in Chernobyl, climb down into the pits of the Dungeon. If you ever wanted to feel as though you were in a horror movie, somebody creeping up behind you to end your joy, explore the graffiti stained walls. Watch your step, the spray cans, liquor, and hauntingly questionable items litter the floor.

My most recent trip through the Dungeon’s ruins.

Even in the day time, the side hallways and rooms are devastating to the psyche. One room, located down a dark and secluded hall, is sprayed completely black- except for the white symbols and eyes that greet you when you turn your flashlight inside. One room has chains running out of the wall. The graffiti ranges from a John Stamos silhouette to penises to tags to threats to Bernie 2016 to quips and quotes. I recommend wearing light wear for climbing- the mud, the humidity of the underground Florida, and the darkness require the right equipment. I’ve been here at night only twice in my many adventures- only one of my companions refrained from running out screaming at the slightest noise. It’s a massive location, sprawling on, and you can’t stop yourself from constantly looking over your shoulder. I don’t blame you. I won’t ruin the surprise by telling you where it is- a correct Google search can point you in the right direction, but not inform you on where to park, where to walk, or even how to get inside. Don’t ask the locals, either- most don’t know. Happy hunting, Palm Beach-ers.