Tally Plague Survival Guide: How to Survive Being Sick in College

It’s that time of year again. We have this wonderful cool weather, but with the weather comes the coughs and the colds and the inevitable bout of Tally Plague. Here at FSU it isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. So when you are struck by the plague, here’s how you get through it.

Stage One: Preparation

Before you do anything else, while still healthy and at least kinda willing to go out here’s what you should have on hand.

1. Vicks Vapo Rub- this is absolutely essential. Get the original blend, none of that lemon scented stuff, you want the menthol to reach all the way to the back of your skull.
2. Asprin, Acetametophine (Tylenol), or Ibuprofen (Advil)- these are fever reducers and pain relievers. For those of you who go the natural route white willow bark is sold in capsules and will help, but is not as strong.
3. A warm blanket and warm (clean) socks.
4. Tea- whatever kind you want, preferably non caffeinated (Throat Coat is the best for sore throats though)
5. Honey -  raw is better but any kind is fine
6. Salt- preferably sea salt
7. Cough Drops (I prefer Ricola)
8. Tissues or Extra Soft toilet paper.
9. A can of pineapple juice – for some science reason it works like a cough syrup and tastes way better.
10. Go get a Flu shot. The clinic on campus usually gives them for free.
11. If you have a kitchen it’s good to keep onions and garlic on hand.

Stage Two: The Illness

Chances are you’ll probably get either a cold, or the flu. If you’re really unlucky you may get meningitis or mono in which case go to a doctor immediately. This is not the post for that. These are remedies not miracles.

1. Liquids. Lots and lots of liquids. You want to be super hydrated. If you have a bad throat drink stuff that is room temperature or warm. This is where that tea comes in.
2. Get some rest. I mean it. Get a solid six hours, take naps, and skip the gym for a bit. Your body is fighting to keep itself working this is not the time to push it.
3. For the love of all that is good EAT. You don’t expect a car to run without gas, don’t expect your body to work without food. Your body is in overdrive trying to keep you alive right now so this is not the time to count calories or skip meals.
4. Honey with a little bit of lime or lemon juice is good if you’ve got a scratchy throat (add some fresh ginger for added punch)
5. Gargle with warm salt water, the salt will help your throat heal up from all the coughing. About one tablespoon per cup of water.
6. STAY AWAY FROM ORANGE JUICE, STARCH, DAIRY, CAFFEINE AND JUNK FOOD. The first three make you produce more mucus (which makes congestion worse) and the last two just make your body work harder which is not what you need when you’re trying to fight a virus/infection.
7. If you’re coughing or sneezing to the point where you can barely get up, stay in bed and don’t spread whatever ick you’ve caught.
8. Something my Cuban mother taught me is along with your chest putting Vicks on the bottom of your feet and then hot socks will suppress your cough. Don’t ask how, but it works. Put your socks in the microwave for 30 second intervals until hot. Don’t put them in for too long or they’ll burn. Something I learned the hard way
9. If you have a fever now is not the time to be stingy with medicine. Take something to bring it down. High fevers can be dangerous.
10. Make sure to email your professors and TAs and let them know what’s going on. Some of them can be pretty lenient if you let them know why you’re missing class ahead of time.

BONUS: Quick and Dirty Chicken Soup*

Nothing beats a cold like home-made chicken soup. Don’t freak out, it really isn’t that hard to make. Get your roommate or friend to help you out.

*If you’re living the Veg life just skip the chicken and double the veggies.

What you will need:

• Hardware

1. A pot with a lid. How much soup you make depends on the size of this pot.
2. A big spoon(to stir with)
3. a stove top
4. A sharp knife
5. That’s it. Most of you should either have this or have access to it. If not, I recommend obtaining these things. You shouldn’t be legally allowed to have a kitchen and not have these things.

• Software (Ingredients): What you’re going to do is take the ingredients and fill up your pot to about two thirds full and then fill the rest of the pot with water until it covers the ingredients.

1. Chicken with the bone. The bone is important. Drumsticks or thighs are ideal and cheap.
2. One whole onion (white or yellow not red) If you’re not up to it you can buy it pre-chopped, but I always recommend buying a whole one and chopping it yourself. It’s cheaper (and just better) that way.
3. A couple cloves of garlic, minced. You could buy a head for less than a dollar and mince it yourself or buy it minced and throw in a few teaspoons.
4. Any vegetables you like so long as they’re cut up so they can cook properly. Carrots, celery, mushrooms, bell peppers, squash, sweet potatoes, or a little bit of ginger to give things a kick. You can also throw in some dried beans or tofu for extra protein.
5. A little bit (about a teaspoon) of vinegar, trust me.
6. A dash of salt.
7. You can add noodles too if that’s how you roll.
8. And a couple shakes/a dash of herbs or spices of your choice: onion powder, garlic powder, chives, Italian herbs and seasoning (rosemary, oregano, basil, thyme), a bay leaf or two (which you’ll need to fish out later cause they don’t make for good eating), and a splash or Worschestershire sauce or soy sauce if you have it.

• Directions

1. Make sure everything is cut up (minus the chicken) and throw it in the pot until it’s about half way to two thirds full.
2. Fill the rest with water until it covers the ingredients.
3. Leave uncovered and turn the heat to medium high (about 7) up until it boils.
4. Turn the heat to low (one or two) and stir.
5. Cover it and walk away for at least an hour or until the meat falls off the bone.
6. If you want this would be the time to fish out the chicken and strip the meat off the bones before adding the meat back in.
7. Let simmer covered for at least another hour or you can let it simmer overnight.
8. Drink soup until you feel better or you get sick of it and use it to bribe/pay your roommate to take care of you.

Follow these guidelines and you too will survive the Tally Plague. If you have any remedies of your own please feel free to share them in the comments!