"Tinder Gives Me the Options I Wouldn't Have"

Modern dating. With the ever growing branches of dating websites — such as Plenty of Fish, Match, eHarmony, and many more — the most popular site has resulted in one app: Tinder. Within the college world, it’s the new norm to have a Tinder account or to have met your partner on Tinder.

Although, whether you swipe for dates or hookups, “playing the game” still has its “do’s” and “don’ts” within hookup culture.

For one Suffolk University student who has recently become single, she has done what every other single, modern-day woman does: Create a Tinder. The one-stop shop of all the men in a 50-mile radius at her finger tips has been both liberating and an emotional roller coaster.

Opening the app at first seems overwhelming, but also serves as a confidence booster with dozens of messages of compliments from people you didn’t even think would look in your direction, but things can turn sour fast.

“Tinder is like online shopping sometimes,” said Suffolk junior Jennifer Nou. “You pick something out, see if you really want to get it, and either check out or click out.”

Screenshot of Jennifer Nou’s profile on Tinder.

For someone who leads a busy life as a full-time student and make-up artist at Mac Cosmetics, it’s sometimes difficult to meet men outside of her everyday circle of people.

“Tinder gives me the options I wouldn’t have,” Nou said as she explained that it’s easier than going out and say, meeting someone at the bar.

“You have to get ready, you have to be free that day, find someone else that’s free and willing to go with you, and then look at your options when you get there, which could be very limited,” Nou said.

“On Tinder, you can go through 300 guys and find four guys attractive and have chemistry with. You can go into a bar where there are 50 people and you could find one person semi-attractive.”

Even though it’s sometimes just something to  do on the train on the way to class or work, according to Nou, it’s also an outlet to date and meet new people.

“There have been people who have told me that they met their running partners on Tinder,” Nou said. “Sometimes I do just want someone to go out with because not all my friends are 21. Sometimes you have a night to spare to have a conversation with someone, even if you won’t see them again.”

Nou has met an array of different people, who have been just a bar partner for one night, or someone who texted her the following day saying “hey, that was fun” and asked to see her again.

Nou said that out of all of the people she has been on Tinder, there is always the question on her mind about if the men she meets actually look like their pictures and if they really are who they say they are.

“Out of the men I have met, they usually look even better in person. Besides the looks though, you shouldn’t expect much because they are still a stranger,” Nou said. “You can’t think of them as your prince charming just yet.”

Obviously it hasn’t been all positive experiences for Nou on Tinder.

“My first red flag is when they send their first message and it says ‘send me pics. They think that they have a chance when saying that,” said Nou, as she rolled her eyes in disgust.

“The second red flag is when you’re talking and you think they have a nice personality and then all of the sudden the conversation goes sour when he brings something up that’s just too suggestive, too fast.”

Although, not even those warning signs are the worst, explained Nou. Sometimes, they are because of the user themselves.

“Because I’ve made so many conversations with so many different guys, by the time one is really nice to me, I just sound super boring because I’m mentally drained from the others and I know it’s disappointing to him and myself,” Nou said.

The hatred for dating websites, including Tinder, are still looked at in a negative light. Nou finds it hypocritical as she said, “Dating is just evolving.”

“Everyone thinks it’s shallow because you swipe for their looks, but then those people are hypocrites because people do that in person too,” said Nou. “You go out to a bar or see someone in class, and go up to them because you’re attracted to them first. You get to know them through conversation, just like Tinder.”

Nou explained there is always going to be the pros and cons of dating, whether it’s online or meeting someone in person.

“You either have the chemistry with them or you don’t,” Nou said.

Nou currently lives with three other girls who also go to Suffolk, two of them that have met their boyfriends on Tinder, while the third met her boyfriend in the more traditional way.

Even as an active user of the online dating site, she still prefers to say she met her future man — whomever it may be — in person.

“I just feel like meeting someone in person is special and spontaneous while Tinder is completely planned,” Nou said. “In person, it’s a stranger that you’ve never met and didn’t expect to be there at that time. You just have this chemistry.”

Although, the special story on how the potential future couple met will not deter Nou from continuing the game of the swipe.

“It hasn’t changed my perspective on men or dating,” Nou said. “They’re going to be the same whether you meet them online or in person. For the good and the bad.”

Nou said that even though her dates haven’t exactly ended in a change of a relationship status, none of them would be known as unsuccessful dates.

“I didn’t expect anything at the time being and that’s why none of them have been failures so far,” Nou said. “I would meet a new person and they were my company while going out just like my friend and I going out. They were just fun.”

Nou said she will continue to swipe right and left, without expectations and with an open mind.