How To Get The Most Out Of College? You May Be Surprised

College is great, but I must say — 10 years after I originally applied to college, I appreciate campus life so much more.

In 2005, I was thrilled to get my very first college acceptance letter. I couldn’t believe I had gotten into the musical theatre program at my dream school! I had worked so hard all of my life for this and felt that at 18, everything had come together — I would train for Broadway, and conquer the world.

I didn’t realize that two weeks later my world would drastically change forever.

A stomach ache. A simple stomach ache that escalated into excruciating pain, never ceasing and only growing worse for two entire days. As the pain grew more and more intense, my father drove me to the emergency room. I don’t remember anything else but the physical sensations of awful pain. All I remember is gradually waking up about six months later.

I thought I had my life all figured out. I felt so lucky that at such a young age, I knew what I wanted to do with my life — I had the drive, the will, the talent, and the support to live my dreams on stage. I awoke as a newborn does, discovering sensations around her for the first time. Lying flat in a hospital bed, I only had a view of the ceiling for my first weeks coming out of a coma. I reoriented myself with the world and learned the true strength of the human spirit.

I awoke to doctors explaining that my stomach exploded due to an unforeseen blood clot. So much pressure had built up inside of me that in the operating room, my stomach actually burst to the ceiling. Both my lungs collapsed, I needed 122 units of blood, and I was even read my last rites. Now, I had no stomach, I couldn’t eat or drink, and he did not know when or if I would ever be able to again. What do you say to that?

I asked why this happened — to my family, to my doctors, but mostly to myself. Why was I blessed with such luck and blessings my entire life, and now was a helpless victim of circumstances, watching my entire world crumble to the floor? And how was I supposed to go to college now? I was angry, frustrated, saddened, but mostly confused. I didn’t understand how my last memory was sitting in physics class, running to the mailbox to check for Michigan’s big envelope, and preparing for our Passover Seder.

Then I heard the word “victim” dangle in my thoughts. And just as I was rediscovering the world waking up as though for the first time, I rethought that word — victim. Even though I was now subject to the doctors’ agenda, a medical marionette subject to 27 surgeries, terms I had never before heard and no idea of when I’d ever sleep in my own bed again, what makes a “victim?”

Certainly I had control over my own mindset, my passions, my thoughts and my dreams! That was my turning point. Lying in the hospital bed, missing the past, confused in the present, and clueless of the new road my future would take, I stopped asking myself “why me?” and now asked myself for the first time, “why not?”

I believe you make things happen for a reason. You can call it bad luck that I endured six of the past 10 years unable to eat or drink, my “planned” life was put on hold and then forever changed, and I endured pain, disappointment, changes and losses that I never anticipated at 18. I call it an opportunity.

I took a risk … and decided to act like I was healthy until I felt healthy. Although everyone questioned whether it was too soon to mount three of my own art shows, star in musicals, teach nursery school, learn karate, start my own chocolate business, and remain as vital internally as I once felt on the inside and outside, I went past my nerves. I took a risk based on the passion I still felt singing out from my heart, expected the best, and was grateful for whatever I received in return.

A decade later, I am so lucky, thankful, blessed. Lucky is a feeling — as available to experience as joy and sadness are. It’s a feeling of gratitude that I can create, just as I can create paintings on canvas. By accepting the road left before me — as hard as that was to face — and traveling along it with my passion for life as my compass, I acted as though I was leading a normal life — and so life became normal; maybe even  better!

I still think about my old life, and sometimes I do miss the innocence in my eyes, the feeling that life was a straight path to my dream life, and that everything was possible. But everything and anything became possible once I was willing to wander from my teenaged fantasies and take this new life on proudly. I can’t be 18 again but lucky for me I can be the best 28 I can. This is not the path that I planned for myself — but does anyone’s life ever work out exactly how they plan it?

So many gifts came out of this.  I discovered painting in hospitals and flourished as a mixed media artist with solo art shows, merchandise and creativity workshops. I wrote a one-woman musical about my life, Gutless & Grateful, where I get to sing and dance about hard times that are now just memories to learn from and share. After never having a boyfriend in my life, I tried online dating … and just got married this June! I finally started college … at 25 years old.

And now at 28, I’m touring colleges again, but differently: with a musical about my life. Now that I’m also in my third year of college, I’ve realized that physical and mental health issues are things we all think about, even if we don’t label it as anything. We all need to learn how to cope when life doesn’t go like we expect it to. We all have detours in our lives, and we become empowered when we trust that we can travel those detours and come out okay — even better! This “detour” in my path has turned into the richest time of my life and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. That’s why I call it my “beautiful detour.”

I’m lucky to have realized the strength and resourcefulness I never knew I had within me, the love surrounding me, and for that voice inside that whispers, “Anything is possible.”

So why make your own luck? Why not … ?

image via Amy Oestreicher

So how do you get the most out of college? Don’t compare, don’t set expectations that you’ll feel awful about not living up to. Expect the most of yourself and know that in time, you can achieve whatever you set your mind to with some passion, determination and patience.

College is great. However late you start, and whatever happens between the start and the finish – embrace every beautiful detour.