36 Thoughts You Have About Graduating

For many, the time we have been waiting for is right around the corner, literally. I’m not talking about Christmas music or reigning in the New Year with alcohol, friends, and party dresses. Well those things too. I am talking about graduation. You know, the thing that happens after attending college for four to five years. You walk a stage attempting not to fall, shake some successful people’s hands, and collect a paper worth thousands of hours and dollars. Basically what we wait for our entire lives. Below are 36 thoughts about graduation being only a few weeks away. PS. You may want to have a drink ready.

Graduation.

1. Graduation will be fine. I’ll be fine. My life will be fine.
2. Don’t think about it.
3. Don’t you dare cry! You are better than your tears!
4. Okay, let’s think about better times.
5. Like tailgating. Yes drinking.
6. Ohmygosh there will be no more tailgating.
7. I will be that 30 year old single lady that still goes to our tailgates as an alumni.
8. I’ll be known as the cat lady!
9. That is so not fair, I am a dog person.
10. I am so a dog person! I mean, I love dogs. They’re great.
11. Oh no. I won’t be walking to class and have a dog attack me on Landis accompanied by a certified hottie.
12. A guy who loves dogs! Oh come on, it doesn’t get better than that.
13. This is why I’ll be single forever.
14. I’m about to be a college graduate who is single.
15. All I’ll have to show for myself is a degree.
16. I hope my parents are proud.
17. They may be getting a successful daughter, but they’re also getting a single daughter.
18. No grandkids. That’s right, mom.
19. I’ll be entering the real world.
20. Yassss. I will audition for that show!
21. Wait, is that show even still on?
22. Oh who cares? I’ll bring it back.
23. I will be a star. I’ll be rich.
24. See, college was pointless. Graduation wasn’t necessary.
25. All those hours studying were a giant waste of time.
26. But the parties. Those were great.
27. And the friends. They’re great too.
28. Well most of them. The ones I didn’t hook up with.
29. I’m no slut though. I behaved. I am a good girl.
30. I wonder if we’ll all be successful.
31. They’re basically like my competition now.
32. So I didn’t even make friends.
33. Why am I crying again?
34. Ugh no tears! Pull yourself together!
35. I am fine. This is fine. Graduation will be fine. Everything is fine!
36. I need a drink.
    

    Alcohol.