In Defense of the Fedora

The fedora was once an esteemed article of clothing, so what has happened to make the famed headwear so maligned in recent years?  The answer, in short, is fedora culture.  For too long this subset of our society has been giving these hats a bad name and it is time someone came out in defense of the fedora.

What is Fedora Culture?

If you have ever been on the internet, chances are you have come face to face with fedora culture and it has probably left a bad taste in your mouth.  Wherever there a comment section post about the stupidity of religion and the superiority of atheists, there is a fedora.  Whenever Mountain Dew announces a new flavor, a fedora is there.  Whenever a news story comes out vaguely related to women, a fedora is there to deliver sexist remarks.

The problem here is that all of these situations get identified with the fedora and not the person wearing it.  The fedora has unfairly been named the official logo of neckbeards and fuccbois across the nation.  In an alternate reality, maybe a vape pen or the neckbeard itself fulfills this mascot rule, and indeed they are deserving of it, but instead the once noble fedora has taken the fall.

The Truth About Fedoras

The fedora existed way before fedora culture came about with its corruptive ways.  Before it became associated with the lowest forms of life, the fedora was actually pretty prestigious.  There is no denying that a fedora can really bring an outfit together.  No one was bad mouthing fedoras when Michael Jackson was using one to write Thriller, one of the greatest albums of all time.

What’s more, the fedora was often a symbol of quiet dignity.  You would not leave your house without one.  No one has ever accused Don Draper of being a neckbeard and that is because he absolutely rocks the fedora overcoat combo on the daily.  I would even venture as far as to say film noir, one America’s greatest contribution to cinema, would not exist with the fedora.  Could you imagine Humphrey Bogart without that quintessential piece of hat atop his head?

Photo via AMC

Time and time again, we have been shown that the fedora itself carries no ill will.  In many cases, the fedora only serves to improve the situation.  Whether it is expertly complimenting outfits or bringing an air of sophistication to the wearer, the truth about fedoras is a far cry from the things they are wrongfully attributed to.

A small group of reprehensible human beings have taken to wearing the fedora.  They tip it at unsuspecting women as they catcall them on the streets, using phrases like “m’lady,” later going home to complain about how girls do not want nice guys all over their anonymous twitters.  They pray to photos of Ricky Gervais as they listen to their Mars Volta vinyl and prepare a meal of Cheetos and Easy Mac.  The image of the modern fedora wearer is nothing more than a gathering of repugnant social concepts and weird, idiosyncratic behaviors.

How to Restore the Fedora’s Glory

The solution to this problem is an incredibly simple one: start wearing fedoras.  You can pick up a fedora for as little as five bucks at your local Goodwill.  When you put on a fedora, you will not just be wearing a very stylish hat, but you will be saying, “I stand against fedora culture.”  That is the next change: stop calling it fedora culture.  We should not be calling these people fedoras, but instead the much more descript neckbeard moniker.  Better yet, refer to them by their beloved vapes.

Taking back the fedora will not end the fight though.  The toxic culture has infected the fedora will still live on.  The best we can do is continue to be good people.  Every time a neckbeard berates someone for their religious beliefs, remember that they are just a vocal minority.  They may be loud, but they do not represent the general opinion.  We all made this mistake once and we may never be able to wear fedoras with confidence again.  Think about the great fedora, think about its legacy and remember to tweet #NotAllFedoras in solidarity with the fedora.  Together we can stop this culture and reclaim the fedora.