To the one's who think they aren't good enough, this is for you

If there’s one question I’m so tired of people asking me, it’s, “Why haven’t you started dating yet?”

I don’t mean to sound pretentious so maybe I should write a disclaimer : This article is not intended to bring anyone down who does decide to be in a relationship at an early age in life, because if you do, more power to you.

I can’t speak for everyone because I’m only one girl, but I can try to relate to those same people who go through college wondering “Why am I not in a relationship when everyone else around me is?”  Well here’s your answer : “You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you’re unique, and it will happen.

If you know me personally, you know that I’m not the type to think too much about these topics because quite frankly,  it really never bothered me until I got into college and noticed everyone around me with their partners. I immediately began to think such shameful things about myself as to why no guy would really try to talk to me  : I’m too fat, I’m too tall, I’m not pretty, I’ll never look like the girls around me, I’m too boring. These thoughts consumed me every hour of the day, but the bubbly & loving side of me told me to put on a brave face for my peers around me and not let it bother me. Let’s be real : it bothered the heck out of me.

Being in a college town around the prettiest & thinnest girls I’ve ever seen in my life truly began to take a toll on me.

So I thought maybe, if I just work on my outward appearance I’ll look beautiful and guys will give me the attention that they give all the other gorgeous girls on the cover of  the hottest brands like Victoria’s Secret or Sports Illustrated. I was set on some unattainable mission to become this girl that wasn’t even me. I felt like if I went to the gym everyday and ate less I’d get skinny and then more guys would talk to me because nobody likes the “fat” girl of the group. I even downloaded absurd and pointless apps like “Tinder” just looking for some validation from men that I didn’t even want or need, but hey, all my friends around me were doing it. I spiraled into some deep depression that no one else around me even noticed because I’m the girl who always puts on a courageous face, but I was breaking down inside and I couldn’t understand why. The pain was cutting do deep and it was hurting everything that I had once valued about myself.

These thoughts began to go way beyond your cliche insecurities, I truly began to believe I was some disgusting person who lacked enough value to ever be loved or to ever be liked.

It wasn’t until recently that I finally realized,  I am a pretty incredible  human being with a beautiful soul who wants the best for herself and everyone else around me. I noticed that the true love that I was longing for was self love.  I have so many goals and ambitions that I want to accomplish in my life that a relationship isn’t even on my radar, and besides I’ll admit : a lot of guys have called me “intimidating”. I don’t have to settle for anyone or anything because I know I’m worth much more than that.  I do want love someday and I truly believe that I will find it, but I respect myself too much to accept the first guy who gives me any attention.  The way I see it, I want to excel in school and my career and worry about that whole relationship thing later. Besides , considering the advice I’ve given to half of my friends, it doesn’t look too glamorous.

It’s time to begin thinking highly of yourself instead of consuming yourself with negative thoughts.  So I figured I’d start :

1. I’m stunningly beautiful.

2.I’m tall and I’ll rock the highest heels in the room because I’m not ashamed to be over 6 feet tall.

3.I’m focused on becoming healthy, not some thin barbie doll.

4.I’m intelligent with a GPA of a boss.

5.I’m grabbing onto life by the horns and I’m making it a pretty great ride.

6.I’m extremely hilarious, so watch out Amy Schumer.

7. I’m stylish

8. I’m set out to be the best, and nothing less.

9. My smile is breathtaking

11. My laugh is loud, contagious, and nothing short of amazing.

10.I don’t need anyone who doesn’t need me.

So to the people who feel like they aren’t good enough, this is for you. We’ve all been there, but like my favorite rapper J.cole once said ” There’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours, love yours.”