Vulnerability - Mine, Yours, & Ours

Vulnerability…

…doesn’t always get the spotlight on a university campus. See, there’s a notion that students today have that to be vulnerable is in some way weak. Let us be clear on the vulnerability of which I speak.

Freshmen are everywhere on campus, full force, as the Juniors and Seniors at FSU know all too well (there is to be no negative connotation inserted here, we’ve all been there). As a freshman on a University campus I had taken on this idea from seeing and meeting students that were years ahead of me to try and NOT look like a freshman. I didn’t want to ask where the bookstore was, much less which classroom – or building, for that matter – I was supposed to be in for class. Why? Vulnerability is synonymous with weakness and as a Freshman I was already subject to a vulnerable disposition and, then, a “weakness” that was not present in the “stronger” Juniors and Seniors I was coming into contact with.

Admittedly, this is my first article writing for any number of people to read and, naturally, whether it be conscious or not, to judge. I’ve approached writing much in the same mindset that I used to have as a freshman: What is the worth of my presence here, of my Voice? Is it worth the spotlight? Do I even want to be in some sort of “spotlight” or have special recognition? It, my Voice, may not be as strong or well-versed as my peers who will have had more experience than I. Do I want to make myself open and willing to take such scrutiny from my peers that may look at this and subsequent articles with disdain? I’ve had to be vulnerable from the moment I received the email for the opportunity to write for Uloop all the way through the application process and what I’ve realized is that there is a parallel fear that comes with opening myself up to such a new position.

Vulnerability, rather than having intimate, trusting connotations has been skewed towards the fearful and oppressive but I would like to focus on the return of the oppressed – to start the journey, in my life – in expressing vulnerability as a strength. To do so is to show my weaknesses: They are numerous. My strong personality and need and want for praise have made my “Voice” in regards to the preparation for this article strained with the desire to do well and to be worthy of the time – those who wish to – that will be lent to my writings that are, then, part of me, an extension of my Voice.

I may hit that mark and I may miss it but being that I’ve started, there’s nowhere to go but up. Throughout a considerable portion of my time here at FSU, I’m realizing that I never put myself out there for things that interested me or were out of my “comfort zones.” My pride being vulnerable to a new system or sport or way of thinking is hard for me to overcome and to, then, throw myself in the middle of whatever I’m wanting to do.

As I’m in my Senior year at FSU, however, I’m going to work so that there’s not going to be that hesitation, that oppression of my interests to that of my fears or the expense of my pride, on my unwillingness to be open, vulnerable. What I could hope for you, whomever should stumble upon this (rather rambling) article, is that seeing me be vulnerable lets you, in turn, be vulnerable in some aspect of your day: Start or try something new; Open up to that person who expressed interest in you as a friend, or otherwise (but be careful here); Put in that extra application to that job you’ve been looking for. Then, should you be so inclined, want to surf back over to this page you’ll find other, maybe lighter articles than this or perhaps quite the contrary. The beauty of Creativity is unpredictability, and I strive for the Unpredictable.