Graduation Anxiety And Leaving Campus

I’ve had graduation anxiety since this final semester began. Recently, while in this state, I was struck by a weekly editor’s note for Buzz Magazine. The student who wrote it was the first kid I met in a college class about three and a half years ago; I ran into him again when I joined Buzz’s music staff where he was the music editor. Later, I remained with music and he went on to be editor of the whole magazine.

He mentioned in his final note, as the next generation takes over, how the current editorial staff can only recall a handful of the staff from three years prior. In three more years, that staff will certainly be forgotten and only a handful, if that, of the current staff will be remembered.

My last piece that I wrote here was a bit ago, when I was feeling existential in the winter and listening to a lot of “The Tallest Man on Earth.” I discussed the line, “…and I plan to be forgotten when I’m gone.”

I thought of this while reading the editor’s note. It’s not that we plan to be forgotten; it’s more that we inherently know it. I’m sure there are tons of students who want to be remembered for some accomplishment or another. But really, most people just won’t care or eventually forget.

Now I’ve considered remaining around campus to focus on my musical endeavors. With this, I’m more likely to know some defunct local bands and know about the bigger ones still around. But there are tons of great Urbana-Champaign bands that are long broken up and that I’ll never listen to. Like these bands, in all the likeliness, the current bands will join these ranks one day, myself included.

To go with the Albert Camus approach, you should strive to see this as liberating. If your actions are ultimately doomed to be one day forgotten, this can be your motivation to try your absolute hardest to ensure your longevity, or take it as a chance to do exactly what you want to do and not get hung up on any regrets.

Of course, Camus would call this anxiety absurd. But it’s warranted: there is a vast sea of unknown upon graduation, see it how you will.

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