Get Off Kanye West's D**k, And Start Following His Example

By John Wong on February 23, 2015

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The past few weeks have been a whirlwind for Kanye West, probably. I’m just assuming so because he has a successful song at the top of the charts right now, performed at the Grammys (twice in one night) and debuted his new fashion line at New York Fashion Week.

Oh, and he’s still married and has a gorgeous baby girl with the most beautiful woman on the planet. And a net worth of $130 million.

So why all the backlash against Mr. West all of a sudden?

You can go with the most obvious answer, which is probably how he’s a huge asshole to everybody and fancies himself Jesus’ favorite son. Come on, people. We’ve known Kanye West is an asshole for quite some time now.

A few years ago, he anointed himself the next Steve Jobs and then took it a step further and made a song called “I Am a God.” And who could forget that famous line from the 2005 Grammy Awards: “Everybody wants to know what I would do if I didn’t win. I guess we’ll never know.”

He’s damn right we’ll never know because open up your eyes, you imbeciles. This man just keeps on winning. He deserves to shun all humility and go around flashing his peacock.

So why are people so surprised that he charged the Grammy’s stage a few weeks ago when Beck won Album of the Year, a la that infamous 2009 MTV VMAs Taylor Swift incident? Why are people amazed that Kanye took it upon himself to design a whole line of skintight mesh lingerie and called it “clothes”?

This is a man you should not be hating on. No, rather, we as a society in today’s day and age actually need a man like Kanye West, and all people who are like him.

This is a person who is the Crusader of Douchedom and together with his wife, Our Lady of Immaculate Narcissism, we have the world’s premiere example of what we as a race should strive to emulate.

And no, all of this success did not come easily.

Kanye Omari West was born in Atlanta in 1977, and his parents were not “wealthy” by any means. His dad was a photographer for crying out loud, and tell me if the name Ray West rings a bell. His mom, Donda (may she she rest in peace) was an English professor and moved Kanye to China when he was around the age of eight, where he learned how to speak Chinese to keep up.

I mean, I’m Chinese and the most I can say is some bullshit about shrimp-flavored chips. He became interested in music, started producing, started rapping a little bit in the studio after meeting Jay-Z and the rest is history.

He’s one of the bestselling musicians of all time. On top of being a musician, he’s a businessman, a creator, a director, fashion designer and, most of all, a certified douchebag. Still hating? Stop.

You’re just wasting your own damn time because Kanye West is the face, voice and mind of this generation. Praise Yeezus.