Hooking Up vs Going Out

Photo via psychologytoday.com

The hookup culture of today’s dating world has ruined relationships. Perhaps we can’t go back to the fifties, where boys would give girls their Letterman jackets and class rings, and where girls would wait patiently for a guy to ask them to a dance. Only a few guys will offer to carry girls’ books now, and the idea of going steady has long been in the past.

However, we’re losing the fabric of our dating lives that are even remotely attached to the foreign times of the fifties.

Girls don’t really expect for a guy to ask them on a date. If he does, he’s really sweet and super old fashioned. She expects to go to a party, sip some beer next to the beer pong table, and score a make-out session. She doesn’t dare wait for him to ask her out on a date before she kisses him, because she knows that he won’t wait that long. He’ll assume she’s not interested.

Guys don’t want to put all of their effort in the relationship for a girl, because they know it won’t be appreciated. Girls think they want a nice, sweet guy, like in all of the romantic comedies they watch. They think they want someone to hold a boom box over their head to prove their love. Instead, they want a guy who’s rude to them, but says backhanded compliments every once in a while. They don’t want Prince Charming; they want a hot guy on the back of a motorcycle.

The idea of not having sex until you’re married is laughable. If people find out you’re a virgin, a girl, and you’re over the age of 17, you’re probably either ugly or prudish. If they find out you’re a virgin, a boy, and you’re over the age of 16, you have no game and you must be pathetic.

There is not holding hands anymore, just holding sweaty bodies as you attempt to recreate something you’ve only imagined in your mind. Couples start hooking up first, and then they decide if they’re right for each other. If you proceed to only choose one person, or no one at all, people are confused. They don’t understand how you could make the decision to marry someone if you don’t know what they’re like in bed, or if you don’t know what anyone else is like in bed.

The idea of conversation–real conversation–is dead. You go to a party and you meet a nice guy or girl. You want to get to know them. You don’t want them to be like everyone else. You attempt to engage them in conversation, except they’re so caught up in the fad that they can’t do anything but flirt with you. They want to compliment you on your hair, your body, your face. You want to know what they think about their major, or where they’d like to travel someday. People don’t want to become bogged down with words, because the lack of words is so much more intimate.

Intimacy is the biggest laugh of it all. We live in a hookup culture, and no one knows the true meaning of intimacy. Intimacy isn’t getting sweaty and naked with the next person you lay eyes on. You could be as close as two bodies can get, and be on opposite sides of the Earth from each other.

True intimacy is knowing someone’s mind, what they think, what they feel, what they want. True intimacy is being able to know yourself, so that someone else can know you, as well.