The DOs and DON’Ts of Playing IM Basketball

Sitting on the cool, metal bench, looking over my shoulder at the bright numbers slowly decreasing, a pang of sadness hit me. It wasn’t because my intramural (IM) basketball team was about to end its season in a loss. It wasn’t because that loss was coming in the first round of the ‘C’ league consolation loser’s bracket. It wasn’t even because we had lost all four of the games (not unexpectedly, since our average height was about 5’9”).

No, the reason that pang of sadness hit me, as the clock—and our season—ran out, was because I knew that if I, and my team, had been more prepared for the IM basketball experience, things might have gone differently. If any of us had played in the league before or if a friend had given us some advice—or maybe if someone had written an article about IM basketball online—we would have had a better chance.

So although my season is over, here’s my attempt to make sure nobody else feels the same sadness I did when they see the clock read all zeros: The absolute definitive list of the DOs and DON’Ts of IM basketball, presented by someone who has seen first hand what happens when you don’t follow them.

Via flickr.com

DO… make sure you are realistic about what level you and your team should be playing at. Michigan, like most schools, has multiple different leagues for different levels of skill—A the best, B intermediate, and C the least skill. If you think you should be in A but play like you should be in C, you’ll have major problems. One of the few things my team did right was put ourselves in the correct league, which gave us at least a chance of winning.

DON’T… be unrealistic about your expectations. My friends and I, all of whom did have some semblance of basketball experience, used the phrase, “We’ll for sure win the championship in the worst league” a few too many times. Try to manage your expectations about how well or poorly your team will do, or you might end up with a big let down.

DO… practice—or at least just go to the gym and shoot around—at least once or twice before the first game. If you show up to the first one not having played basketball in a few months, like I did, it will show on the court. The teams used to the baskets and floors in the gym, the ones with a few set plays and a good idea of how to play as a team, will always have the advantage over the teams that haven’t done any preparation past paying the entry free and showing up.

DON’T… look at who the other team is or who is on it before the game starts. All that knowledge does is create unfounded confidence or an irrational lack of hope. Wait until you see the team in person or maybe even scout them a bit during warm-ups if you want an idea of what you’ll be going up against, but basing your game plan or your confidence level on a team name or a list of its players will be bad news. You never know, the engineering frat might actually be really good (they were).

DO… go to all the games. If you don’t show up, somebody else on the team will also find an excuse to not show up. And then somebody else. And then you might end up playing half a game four versus five. Spoiler alert: that didn’t go so well. Ever notice how NBA and college teams play a lot of subs? It’s because they’re necessary. Nobody is in good enough shape to play a full game without being dead tired, so make sure you have plenty of subs to rotate in and out to keep your team fresh. Sometimes in IM basketball, which team wins comes down to simply who can keep getting up and down the court. 

DON’T… complain to the refs throughout the game. They are students just like you, not professional referees. It’s ridiculous to expect them to make every call perfectly. Even if you do feel the need to complain, they won’t listen anyway; in fact, they’re probably more likely to favor the other team going forward. Save your energy, and the ref’s bias, and keep your mouth shut. 

Follow these DOs and DON’Ts, or you might end up like these guys

DO… bring a water bottle, Gatorade, or something of the sort. Once the game gets going, there’s pretty much no time to walk all the way to the water fountains to get a drink. You will get tired and thirsty, and you will want to drink. But if it’s not sitting next to you, you might have to suffer without it. Do yourself a big favor and bring it with you to the bench.   

DON’T… be afraid to shoot. IM basketball—especially once you get beyond A league—is hardly an all-star league. The play is, more often than not, very sloppy, with tons of turnovers. That’s why shots are so valuable; any possession that goes by without at least one shot attempted is a waste. If you have enough room to shoot, fire away—and if it goes in, celebrate away too. After all, this is your only chance to be the IM basketball league’s Nik Stauskas. 

DO… have a fun time. Cheesy, right? Of course, but there’s a reason that saying has been used enough to earn that distinction. There are plenty of frustrating aspects of IM basketball—the refs aren’t perfect, the scorekeepers aren’t perfect, the courts aren’t perfect—but if you get hung up on those, you’ll forget that you’re a college kid playing basketball with his or her friends. No matter what happens in the game, the price to play in the league isn’t worth it if you don’t have fun. Let’s be honest, that’s why you’re signing up to play in the first place (unless you’re really, really desperate for the championship T-shirts).

DON’T… take anything too seriously. In the end, IM basketball is just IM basketball. You might feel like Glenn Robinson III sometimes, but you’re playing for fun, not competing for a Big Ten championship. If things don’t go as planned, just be happy you got the exercise that the library simply doesn’t provide.

There you have it: The definitive guide to succeeding in IM basketball, completely fail proof. And most of these same DOs and DON’Ts apply to all IM sports, too. Manage your expectations, practice, don’t complain, make sure everybody shows up, and just have fun. Follow those steps and you’ll find success in whichever IM sport you choose, from basketball all the way to battleship.