Moms!

Being a mother as well as a full time student is crazy madness. I went back to school while still nursing my three months old twins, and had to learn very quickly how to turn my life into a sort of manageable insanity.

The first thing that really helped was to get a map of all the “lactation rooms” available to me on campus. These are rooms usually furnished with worn, comfy couches, and there are outlets for your Medela Pump-In-Style. Apparently you can also buy or rent a pump directly from UC Davis, and the rooms are equipped with their own specific pump. Had I known that fact earlier, I would have gotten UC Davis equipment instead of carrying my own heavy gear everywhere.

If you need to stop by those rooms 3 to 4 times a day, I strongly suggest you bring something to read. They have two old Parenting issues in there, sometimes three, and then a few sparse childhood development brochures. It’s hardly enough to stay entertained through one full pumping session.

The second thing that really made my life easier was discovering I had access to the UC library online. You can access the library website through Google, and click on the VPN access link on the left of the screen. Enter your usual name and password and you’re in! Unless the paper you are looking for is super esoteric, or print-only, you can do hours of research from your couch at home.

This allowed me to study at any odd hour of the day. Usually between the hours of 1 and 4am, when my babies slept almost 3 hours in a row! That seemed golden at the time… Doing research from home also allowed me to study while one of my babies napped on my chest, or while I had a small, quick meal.

Other untapped resources are the TAs. If you have one of those happy, smart and helpful TAs, email them right away and let them know about your situation. I never had any additional time to make anybody’s office hours –even with the option of making appointments at my convenience, because really, convenience is just not part of my life anymore. Instead I learned to rely on the teaching assistants, all of whom had no problem communicating with me exclusively via email. At first I felt like they might think I was being lazy. Thinking that way got very tiring very quickly. I subsequently took to feeling like helping myself succeed was okay, no matter what form it took. Time not spent stressing about school was time spent enjoying little moments with my wide-eyed babies.

It’s also really important to stay well fed and hydrated. Not just because you are a mom, but because you are human, too. Walk around and get familiar with all the places on campus where you can buy food and water. I spend many hours in Briggs Hall, and my first quarter on campus I had never noticed the small snack-bar inside the Sciences Laboratory Building. Every time I needed food I would trek all the way back to the MU, while they were selling sandwiches literally 15 seconds away from Briggs’ front doors. If it sounds utterly ridiculous, it is. But I had so many things on my mind it never occurred to me to stop and actually look around as I went about my business.

Some days will still be wild; you’ll have to rush to class in your nursing shirt, possibly even your lounging pants, hair not quite done and no socks on. It is best to just accept this and lose all sense of shame. Also, even if it means going to lecture red-eyed and less than put-together, try to attend class every day. The change of scenery will be good for you. You don’t even have to take notes or actively listen to your professor. If you can, record the lecture on your iPhone or your computer, sit back and let some knowledge inadvertently seep into your brain. If anything, going to class will allow you a couple of hours of respite from a colicky baby, and that’s a wonderful thing.