How Not To Kill Plants

Do you like having alive things around in your apartment? Me too. Do plants get suicidal tendencies around you? Me too! After a series of disheartening plant deaths (that I swear were not my fault), here’s what I’ve learned about keeping plants alive in a college apartment/dorm atmosphere. Trust me on this, it’s worth it. Plants make your room more alive, and your mood less depressed!

1. Supplies

A plant I totally didn't kill.

Planting supplies can be hard to come by on a college campus, but in spring the Walgreens and Target stores around UW-Madison carry pots and potting soil. If Walgreens fails you and you need to find a Target, try busing it or taking community car, Madison’s kick-butt car sharing community.

2. Potting

You can put a plant in anything. Fishbowls. Beer bottles. Anything that holds water and dirt. HOWEVER, if the container doesn’t have a hole in the bottom, put some rocks or shells in before you fill it up with dirt. Extra water that the roots don’t absorb can pool in the rocks; if there’s nowhere for it to drain, your plants will get over-watered, and if they’re already grumpy with you, you’re toast.

3. Watering

Another plant I totally didn't kill.

Once a week. If you forget, don’t over-water them. Did I mention don’t over-water them? Let me tell you a story about Mabel.

Mabel was a hosta (which are supposed to be “unkillable”–I know, I’ve killed them too!) that belonged to my friend Sara. Sara studied abroad for a month, and left Mabel in the capable hands of my friend Amanda. Amanda has the long-term memory span of a gadfly.

She forgot to water Mabel for four weeks, and the night before Sara came home she hit Mabel up with the domestic plant equivalent of a tsunami. Sara came home, and where once stood a Mabel was now a gloppy mess of dead leaves.

Moral? When in down, less is more. If it’s gonna die, let it be mealy bugs. You can’t be blamed for that…