The Many Problems with Georgia Tech Frat Boy's "Luring Rapebait" Email

Photo courtesy of TotalFratMove.com

College students know that date rape and sexual assault is a major problem on campuses today. Any college freshman that claims they were unaware of this fact is lying; we all had to endure the hours of endless videos and slides of AlcoholEdu, many of which were devoted to this issue.

According to the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault, “at least 1 in 4 college women will be the victim of a sexual assault during her academic study.” These incidents usually involve alcohol and an acquaintance of the victim.

Fortunately, I have never personally witnessed or experienced any of this assaultive behavior (I’ve also only been in college for six weeks, so that isn’t saying much). But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I have never felt unsafe at a party or worried for the wellbeing of a too-drunk friend. But I’m sure many of my peers would have to say otherwise.

But even as information about this topic becomes more and more available, idiots like the a-hole who wrote this email continue to plague college society.

So that begs the question, do people not realize the consequences of their words and actions, or do they not care that they are, intentionally or unintentionally, promoting rape and sexual violence?

For those of you who don’t know, on Monday, TotalFratMove.com posted an e-mail sent from the social chair Phi Kappa Tau at Georgia Tech to his chapter. The subject of the e-mail is “luring rapebait.” In the e-mail, the author instructs his fellow brothers on how to “mack and succeed at parties.” His tips include getting girls drunk, aggressively dancing with them, and “The 7 E’s of Hooking Up: encounter, engage, escalate, erection, excavate, ejaculate, expunge.” I’m not kidding.

The truth of the matter is that nothing outlined in the article came as much of a shock to me. Yes, many guys in college want to party and drink and have sex. That’s not even the problem, though, because believe it or not many girls in college want to party and drink and have sex, too.

Problems arise when guys, who have always been seen as sexually dominant, take advantage of their female peers who don't want to sleep with them. Guys try to get girls drunk and have sex with them. As the author of our Phi Kappa Tau e-mail articulates, the strategy for sex-obsessed teenagers and college boys everywhere is, “IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL.” When a girl denies your advances, the author suggests you just get them another drink and try again. It happens in high school and it definitely happens in college. It’s not right, but it happens, and far too many people don’t see a problem with it.

What surprised me most was that the author felt completely comfortable verbalizing this behavior as if there was nothing wrong with anything he had to say.

He also explicitly told his brothers, “NO RAPING!,” yet then went on to list a series of actions that to me sound a whole lot like date rape. FOR GOD’S SAKE YOU EVEN CALL WOMEN RAPEBAIT ARE YOU TRULY AS STUPID AS YOU APPEAR?!

Side note: You REALLY thought this e-mail would stay between you and your brothers? DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM UMD's DERANGED SORORITY GIRL EMAIL?! Nothing on the internet is private and everything on the internet is permanent. Aside from the content of this e-mail, which, don’t get me wrong, made me want to throw up, you deserve to be suspended solely based on the fact that you were stupid enough to send this e-mail, allegedly from A SCHOOL LIBRARY COMPUTER.  I CAN’T.

I was also a little uneasy at how lightly the entire situation was taken. I wasn’t even aware of it until today, and I like to think I’m pretty up on things. I check twitter pretty much as often as I blink, so it would be hard not to be informed. CNN and The Huffington Post have both condemned the author, and he has been suspended from Georgia Tech, but in my opinion the people who should care the most, college students, care much less than these news outlets.

To TFM’s credit, the site itself called the e-mail “decidedly rapey and creepy.” However, the same can’t be said for the site’s visitors. Comments on the TFM page focus more on the fact that Phi Kappa Tau must be “really lame” if they need such directions, and that “the pledge who must have leaked this from the house list-serv should be severely hazed,” than the actual content of the e-mail. Users state that “house business is house business” repeatedly, but barely address the fact that their fellow frat boy just made them all look like date-rapists. Like I hate to break it to you, but I think you kind of missed the point. One comment called the e-mail “a how to manual for eighth grade, and another even stated, “Holy (expletive deleted) that is perfect.”

If you’re a girl in college and this e-mail doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable, anger, trouble, or upset you in anyway, I truly don’t know what to say. I don’t expect all of you reading this to feel outraged and impassioned to act, but if you are okay with being referred to as “rapebait” just punch yourself in the face. I’m serious.

If you’re okay with being so objectified by guys then you are just as big a part of the problem as the sleazebag who wrote this e-mail.

If that term of female degradation doesn’t bother you, maybe this comment will: “Date-rape might be rape, but it’s also a date you ungrateful (expletive deleted).” I’m going to give whoever posted this particular comment the benefit of the doubt and say, maybe he meant it to be satirical? But regardless, there are people out there who honestly feel this way, and that’s frightening.

And this type of behavior should bother college guys too! Especially guys in frats. I’m not “anti-Greek” by any means. Fraternities can be great for networking, philanthropy, and purely social reasons, but A-holes like this make you all look TERRIBLE. Don’t you guys think you get grilled enough for hazing pledges and wearing douche-y outfits? Sexual assault charges are really the last thing you need. But if you want to change your reputation, you have to do something about it.

The Associated Press reported today that “Vanderbilt University and the national office of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity have suspended local chapter operations” because of a similar incident involving a “offensive recruiting email.” While the University would not discuss the specific content of the e-mail, Vice Chancellor Beth Fortune told the AP that it “conveys a message that is reprehensible in its disrespect for women.''

According to the HuffingtonPost.com, Emerson College officials told a student “not to make a big deal” of her reported sexual assault.

The point is sexual assault is a problem, and we can’t just sit back and normalize it. Like I said before, 1 in 4 college women will be the victim of sexual assault during her academic study. Ladies, think of your three best friends. That’s one of you being date-raped. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like those odds.

I guess if anything positive can be drawn from this, it’s that it reminds us college girls how careful we have to be. The sad truth is that this is the world we live in. There are plenty of good guys in college who respect women and believe in the power of consent, but as e-mails like this demonstrate, there are also a lot of creeps out there. I kind of understand the lack of outrage at this e-mail because we hear it all the time, it’s just another stupid sexist, etc. But until something changes, and I don’t foresee a change coming anytime soon, we have to watch our backs. So ladies, don’t let yourselves be that 1 in 4. In the words of my mom, be smart, be safe, and DON’T EVER PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN.