Cat Calls: Not as Complimentary as You Think

What are cat calls, exactly?

Have you ever walked up to a person and told them to smile, because they'd be more beautiful/handsome if they did?

Or have you gone the more common route and whistled at a person you found attractive as they walked by, maybe throwing in a “Hey, Baby!” or “Looking sexy!” for a lasting impression?

If you said yes to any of the two, then congratulations, you have participated in cat calling. This article is for you.

Before we go any further, take a moment and watch this video about cat calling from W. Kamau Bell, a stand up comedian on FXX.

Done? Good.

Women in New York City seem to share the same sentiment on cat calls: They happen more often than they'd like, and they don't like them at all.

In an attempt to define what is meant by cat calling, here's a rather blunt definition from Urban Dictionary: “A loud whistle or a comment of a sexual nature made by a man to a passing woman.”

Of course, this isn't to say or assume that men never get cat calls from women or other men. It's just that more than likely a woman will be the recipient of an unwanted whistle or comment from an unknown stranger.

A common misconception is that cat calling is somehow a 'compliment' that women should be thankful for and not complain about. However, how can it be a compliment when very few women see it as such?

Note: This image is filled with sarcasm

She doesn't like cat calls, she breaks down what harassment is, she explains why it's annoying and 'creepy' and women living in New York kept journals on their daily doses of street harassment.

If you've watched any of the videos or read the Cat Called blog, you'd notice a pattern of women being turned off by cat calls. They don't view it as complimentary, so why do men and women partake in this rather rude way of getting someone's attention? Do cat calls ever result in the exchange of names and phone numbers? The problem with cat calls is that appearance is more important to the cat caller than the person. Because cat calls usually don't result in the swap of personal information, cat calling is a way for men and women to let the other party know how much they appreciate 'the sight,' but couldn't bother working a little bit harder in actually starting a conversation and getting to know who they are. It's demeaning, and many women have to deal with it every time they leave their house. It makes women self-conscious about what they're wearing and will have them thinking twice about their outfits each day.

The very fact that women have to go through this daily routine to avoid the unwanted attention is a real problem with cat calls. Women have to be more aware of their surroundings and have to alternate their routes more than they would like because what if those 'harmless' comments turn out to be not so harmless after all?

Still not getting it? There's a tumblr page dedicated to the shared thoughts and sentiments on cat calling. Sexism, misogyny and rape culture are a few terms that come up when discussing street harassment.

The point? Cat calls are not as complimentary as you think. The whistles and stares make her uncomfortable. She does not exist for your viewing pleasure.

And this is never okay.

It's not a crime to want to compliment a woman, but don't tell her to 'smile' when she's not. There may be a reason why she's not smiling and you come off as a total jerk for saying that.

If you're trying to start a conversation with her, recognize her body language. If she's giving nonverbal cues that she enjoys the conversation, then carry on. But if she's giving cues that say she doesn't want to talk to you (e.g., looking at her phone, looking everywhere but at you, body turned away from you), then it's time to move on. Your personal satisfaction shouldn't come before her personal state of mind.

Another problem with cat calls: If a woman ignores them, then the cat caller will in turn lash out with petty insults. “Pay attention to me! I just gave you a compliment!” is what they are usually thinking, but a woman doesn't have to respond to the advances.

Proceeding to then call her a 'slut' or 'bitch' because she didn't appreciate the comments is immature and yet another reason why women don't like the cat calls. Being subjected to sexist comments only to be followed by even more misogynistic comments; it's always a lose-lose situation, so why exactly would women want this type of harassment?

Cat calls are not successful. Street harassment is not a joke. Yet it's a big problem that is pervasive in society and especially on college campuses. Once men and women recognize the negative effects on a person's mental well-being, then maybe the wanton cat calls will stop.

For future notice, don't aim for 'complimentary.' Respect is a much more appropriate (and appreciated) goal.