Roommate With a New Mate

By Abby Kutscher on January 21, 2013

The Honeymoon stage. Those who have been in a serious long term relationship know it well. It is the period of time that begins on the first official day of coupledom and lasts for an indefinite amount of days, weeks or months. Symptoms include baby-talk, public displays of affection, and spending as much time together as possible. Obviously, these symptoms can quickly become annoying to the roommate of the love-struck person in question. So what’s a roommate to do?!

Finding yourself with a roommate who has recently been bitten by the love bug can present a variety of obstacles. To overcome these obstacles, the most important thing to remember is communication. Regardless of the problem you’re faced with, talking to your roommate and setting ground rules can save you a lot of headache.

In the initial stages of a new relationship, it is customary for the couple to want to spend the majority of their free time together. If a lot of this togetherness is spent in your room, you may find yourself becoming annoyed by the mere sight of your roommate’s significant other. Opening the door to your room only to find him or her lounging in what should be your personal space as much as your roommate’s may soon cause you to feel resentment towards your roommate. While this is a normal reaction, don’t let your anger get in the way of communicating with your roommate.

Speak with your roommate about appropriate visiting hours, whether that entails not having visitors over during the times you are studying or doing homework in your room or not allowing visitors to remain late into the night. Remember, it’s your room too. You may be worried about seeming uncool or making your roommate mad, but if you respect him or her, then he or she will respect you too. While you are setting these ground rules, feel free to request that late night phone calls with that special someone be relegated to the hallway or another different area outside of the bedroom. Of course, if you are making requests, then it is natural that your roommate may make some as well. Be reasonable when complying with these requests. Agree to give your roommate and his or her significant other time to themselves. Allow them to have the room to themselves while you are in class, studying at the library, or otherwise out of the room that the two of you share. If you compromise so that you have time to yourself and they have time to themselves, then everyone will be happier.

After some time has passed, your roommate’s new mate won’t be so new and the Honeymoon phase will be over. In the meantime, you will be able to get through it if you remember to communicate and compromise.

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