A Letter About Letting Go

By Kelsey Lange on February 27, 2017

Dear Past Self,

I am not exactly sure how to write this. But I know why I want to. And that is because I know you can do it. But you need to know you can. For my past 21 years, I know that I have had many moments that I needed a letter like this to push forward. And I believe that though I am only a young adult, that something like this will always motivate me to move on.

I write this letter at a time in my life that I have chosen to let go completely of something that I thought I would never have to, let alone be able to. And though this might seem like a terrible time, it is not. Letting go does not translate to defeat. It translates to strength. It translates to a fresh start. And it translates to loving yourself.

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There have been many moments where I have held on very tightly to someone that has not been meant for me. Or I have not been meant for them. Maybe I will never know which. But questions like these do not allow yourself to take any steps forward, though it is very easy to get wrapped up in them. Forcing yourself to make a relationship work to remain happy will only do yourself and the other person an injustice.

The hardest part of letting someone go is losing all of the comfort that resided in your relationship. I wish that I could tell you that this is easily ignored, but it gets less noticeable with time. Time has a huge impact on healing, though this has been said many times before. Trust the process of mending your heart.

If you cut your arm open with a knife, would you expect it to be healed the next morning? This would be absurd. Instead, take this time to learn about yourself in ways that you have not had the chance to before. It is not every day that you are learning to put yourself back together; do not rush the process. Do it the correct way: find things that make you happy on your own, talk yourself through moments of distress.

I want to emphasize that with time, you will get stronger. So much stronger that you will surprise yourself. And I am confident that with each moment of betrayal, heartbreak, or pain you will find yourself more. You will allow your own thoughts to be the only comfort you need and you will be happy in your own company. Maybe it does not seem like it, but one day you will not need to have reassurance for anyone but yourself. Also, do not be afraid if you are not at this point yet. It will take you a long time, but until then know that you will be there eventually.

Do not force yourself to forget memories. It will cause you pain momentarily to think about, but with time this will subside. It is very possible to keep pushing good times to the back of your mind, ultimately ruining them for your future self. Believe it or not, you will want to reminisce one day. It may seem like you will never let go of resentment or pain, but believe that you will be able to give this up in return for peace. You cannot live life with such heavy emotions on your shoulders and to let these go will create a much more peaceful mind. I encourage you to embrace your pain. Cry when you want to, and pick yourself up when you are done. Be alone when you need to, and be angry when you have to.

Most importantly, acknowledge that letting go is not a bad thing. Letting someone go from your life is painful, but it does not mean that it is not right for you. Not everything that you want to succeed in your life will. And ignoring signs that point you towards this direction can only hurt you more. If you believe that someone does not love you the way that they should or have in the past, let them go. You do not deserve to be fighting for someone to love you. Ever. Never allow a person to make you believe you are not enough.

Even if you are still in love with a person, this does not mean that you are meant to love them for the rest of your life. If a person is meant to be in your life, then they will be, whether this means time, space, or anything else. This also means that it should not feel like you are constantly begging for them to be there. Believe that if you are at the point in your life that you need to let go, things will continue on. I promise you are going to be just fine. More than fine. One day you will find what you are looking for and better.

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